A Hundred Things
1. My name is Laura Elizabeth Dlug.
2. I was named after Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder, author of the famed Little House on the Prairie books.
3. My mom had my name picked out since she was seven.
4. This is very endearing to me and proof that I was destined to be a genius.
5. I learned to read when I was two and a half.
6. To this day, I read really really fast.
7. I took my reading and writing very seriously and in the 4th and 5th grade I wrote a lot of macabre poems about dying.
8. The principal called home and wanted to know if everything was “alright at home”.
9. It was. I just had a crazy imagination.
10. This continued to get me into trouble as I spent junior high reading every Stephen King novel ever written and lots of books about the Holocaust.
11. I spent a lot of time reading because I was made fun of a lot in junior high for my undying love of showtunes and my irritating habit of singing them whenever possible.
12. I also didn’t know how to dress and my family was poor.
13. I have three siblings and the nice thing was, we were all poor together.
14. My dad was an upper-middleclass, doctorate-degree toting bachelor when he met my mom and she popped out four kids and all his money disappeared.
15. My father was my mother’s math teacher in high school.
16. She kind of hated him and to this day, his class is the lowest grade on her transcript.
17. But then she realized he was super dreamy and they went out after she graduated.
18. They’ve been married over thirty years despite a twelve-year age difference, an eleven-inch height difference and going through some really crazy shit.
19. My mother and I are like oil and water. She is very into being Catholic and knows about 100 priests who randomly show up to dinner sometimes. They are all awesome.
20. I went to therapy for awhile so I could better understand my relationship with my mom. It was really hard and I cried buckets but it was one of the best things I ever did.
21. I do not go to church regularly but I really love it every time I go.
22. My dad has a super thick Brooklyn accent which I try to capture in writing about him but mostly fail. You just have to hear it for yourself.
23. I am a Type A, anal-retentive firstborn child even though I am the second born.
24. My mother says this is because I am the first girl.
25. My mother is very into the psychology of birth order.
26. She is the 4th of seven children.
27. My father is the also the 4th of seven children and thus, I have 45 first cousins.
28. I never can seem to finish my beverages. Wine, beer, coffee, tea, it takes me forever. Why is this?
29. I am a terrible driver and once crashed my car into a concrete meridian coming out of JFK International Airport. I have scars on my left arm from the airbag, which burned my skin off. YAY AIRBAGS.
30. When I was little, I thought I was exactly like my mother but it turns out, I am much more like my father.
31. Just…shorter. And half as Polish.
32. The first Broadway show I ever saw was “Crazy For You” in the 4th grade.
33. My second was “Beauty and the Beast” on an 8th grade field trip and after that, it all meshes together because seeing shows is all I ever did.
34. When I was in high school, I would take the train with my cousin Tom or my best friend Sam to the city and we would wander around and buy student tickets to Broadway plays.
35. Tom is my cousin and best friend in the world. We went to college together. He lives in LA now.
36. I have a BFA in Music Theater from the University at Buffalo.
37. This qualifies me for absolutely no high-paying jobs at all, ever.
38. I am currently unemployed after losing my job as a Very Important Temp at a Very Important Financial Institution.
39. I’m trying to use my unemployed time wisely but really I just take lots of naps.
40. I started studying improv in 2008 and am currently on a musical improv house team at The Magnet Theater.
41. We are called ‘Aquarius’ and we are very amusing. You should come see us sometime!
42. If I could go back and do college/my early 20′s over, I would’ve dated more people and not had such serious relationships.
43. I would’ve focused more on having friends. Apparently I have a very tough time maintaining strong female friendships even though all the girls I meet are so, so awesome.
44. Are you a girl? Be my friend.
45. My roommate is known as The Roommate and we went to college together and have known each other for over ten years. EEP.
46. He works for a world famous fashion designer and sometimes he brings me free clothes.
47. We live in Astoria, Queens which is about a twenty-minute subway ride out of Manhattan. I have lived in the same apartment for 7 years. That be crazy yo.
48. I am in love with New York City, always have been, always will be.
49. Though sometimes, when I’m stuck on a crowded subway next to someone with bad breath, I think about moving away and living on a farm.
50. Ideally, I would like to have both: a NYC apartment and a house in the country.
51. I’m using “country” loosely. I don’t mean “Out in Bumblescrew Alaska”, I mean maybe…Westchester County?
52. Connecticut? Vermont? North Carolina? Washington State? Please someone, tell me. Where do I want to live when I grow up?
53. New York City is truly perfect but I’m not entirely sure I want to raise my children here.
54. I think about raising children wayyyyyy too much.
55. I’ve been nannying twins named Owen and River for over six years.
56. I babysit them every Saturday night and post funny stories about them when they make me laugh. They’re kind of getting older now so I blog about them less. I still love them to pieces.
57. I relate to kids extraordinarily well. Possibly because I am kind of a toddler. In an ideal world, I would eat a snack every three hours and sleep a full ten hours a night.
58. I never get ten hours of sleep. Ever. Well. Maybe now that I’m unemployed. Maybe.
59. I also have to pee approximately one hundred times a day.
60. I also cry at everything including not but limited to: commercials, one hour episodics on ABC and when I am very tired.
61. I am a self-diagnosed HSP- Highly Sensitive Person and I can’t be wrong. I took a test on the internet.
62. I see a therapist and I’m not ashamed about it.
63. Pursuing an acting career is harder than I thought it would be and I’m getting to an age where I’m wondering if it’s still worth it or just crazy, impossible, stupid.
64. I promised myself that the moment acting makes me more unhappy than happy, I am out. I think I will know when this moment arrives.
65. I grow very frustrated when I think about the fact that as a woman, I have to factor in childbearing and a biological clock with my career and men don’t.
66. I have dated lots of boys, sometimes because I SUPER liked them and sometimes because I thought I should be with someone rather than be alone.
67. Turns out, being alone is pretty kickass. It was a good lesson to learn.
68. Now I am dating the most adorable person in the entire world.
69. We were friends for over three years before we started dating and thank God because ENOUGH ALREADY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUUUU.
70. He brings my life an indescribable amount of joy and a sense of groundedness.
71. I have to say that I have a track record of being attracted to really tall guys.
72. I think this is because I like feeling smaller.
73. Why is it that the men you wish would ask you out never do and the ones who DO ask you out are the ones you don’t want?
74. My dad told me once never to settle on a guy. Because, and I quote ‘DEN YOU ARE STUCK WITH DAT PERSON FOREVA AND IT’S LIKE OOPS!’ Yeah. Oops.
75. I went to Italy with my best friend Alayna in May of 2008 and for my cousin’s wedding in 2010. My soul was transformed and I now take Italian lessons at Collina Italiana on the Upper East Side.
76. The Italian lessons don’t have as much to do with Italy as they do with my Mondo Beyondo list. It’s helping me live a richer life.
77. I’m also a proud attendee of the School of Practical Philosophy. I’ve been going here for three years and to say it has changed my life is the biggest understatement. EVER. I occasionally blog about what I learn there and how I’m putting it into practice in my life.
78. I am on a continual quest for self-awareness. I think I lived about the first twenty-three years or so of my life blissfully ‘sleeping’. Now I am awake. And I have some MAJOR work to do. Philosophy helps with this. Immensely.
79. I am a good combination of both my mother and father’s genes. I have the Polish hair and eyes but the Italian ability to tan like a mofo.
80. I have never liked my stomach and I have long long limbs which make me muppet-like and also, spastic.
81. I like to run, swim, take Bikram Yoga and pilates and now this sounds like a match.com ad.
82. I met my last boyfriend on match.com. We dated for a year. Now he lives in Belarus. I’m trying not to take that personally.
83. I became a vegan in December of 2006 and was very strict about it for close to two years.
84. Today, I settle somewhere between veganism and vegetarianism.
85. I make exceptions for going out to restaurants and also, most desserts. Also, cheese. MAN I LOVE CHEESE.
86. I am trying to lessen my consumption of leather. It’s hard. I love shoes.
87. And parabens in my beauty products. WHO KNEW THAT SHIT IS IN EVERYTHING?
88. It’s even in baby products. SERIOUSLY I CANNOT GET OVER THIS PARABEN THING.
89. I love my dad more than I love anyone in the entire world.
90. He broke his hip in March 2010, contracted a potentially fatal staph infection and almost died. But didn’t. Phew.
91. I have a little sister. She is 4’11 and ten times cooler than me. She is in grad school, studying to become a chiropractor.
92. My little brother is also cooler than me and has three tattoos and extremely excellent taste in music. He is a DJ.
93. My older brother is not cooler than me as he is the biggest dork of all time. His wife doesn’t seem to mind. They are awesome.
94. I like coconut tea. And rosebud tea. And peach tea. AND ALL KINDS OF TEA.
95. I love coffee too but shouldn’t drink it in large amounts because IT! AFFECTS! ME! SO! MUCH! I like it with a crazy amount of soy milk, about half milk, half coffee.
96. I think mushrooms and veal are the two grossest things to ingest. However, avocado, artichokes, spaghetti and Thai food? All cause for celebration.
97. I’m working on being a better listener, being less self-critical, not taking things so personally.
98. I’ve had this blog since 1998 when it was hosted on a site called “xoom.com”. Three people read it.
99. A lot more people read it now but few ever comment.
100. I love each one of them. And also, you.
Lau, I am reading a couple at the times and keep coming back to read more xD You are fun, and this is a great way to know you xD I love how you write I swear!! Makes me keep reading!! xD And I WANT TO SEE NYC SOMEDAY!!
Seems like a wonderful place to be 
For now tho, I am moving to Norway at the end of the year 
so at least we’ll share seasons 
Thanks Gisele! Come on down to NYC anytime!!
[...] A Hundred Things [...]
Astoria. Cool. I’m moving to Brooklyn on Monday. Maybe Tuesday. I’m having trouble picturing you “rocking out.” I must witness this someday.
I have a few questions about 66 – 69. Do you think it’s possible you weren’t really in love? I’m finding it difficult to understand why you would break up with someone you were in love with. Perhaps there are a few more steps in there? Fell in love, fell out of love, developed crush on candy counter boy?
And why did you have to “get over” someone you broke up with? Particularly a “getting over” that was such a lengthy process? Generally, I think people have to get over someone who broke up with them, not get over someone they themselves dumped. Did you try to get back together with him? Did you actually date candy counter boy?
Why am I so fascinated by this? It’s like a romance novel Cliffs Notes with most of the pages missing.
Brooklyn! Amazing! Welcome. What part?
Oh my, it’s complicated, I think. I do believe I was truly in love, the only time I ever have been I think. However, I was very young and when I went to college, it became long distance. It was also very manipulative and dysfunctional towards the end. I believe it was a very co-dependent relationship, if you will. And since I am not by nature a co-dependent person, I felt very smothered.
The Candy Counter Boy represented something very appealing: a more stable boyfriend? not to mention a boyfriend who was around? Candy Counter boy was extremely appealing and while breaking up with someone you’re in love with doesn’t seem logical, I definitely went ahead and did it. (Candy Counter Boy and I dated for almost 2 years, broke up and dated again for another year at a later point in time.) It was the best decision I ever made and Candy Counter Boy ended up teaching me a ton of things, most importantly, how to exist in a mature, healthy relationship which is something I had not figured out until I met him. So, instead of co-dependence, I learned how to establish boundaries, how to communicate, how to support and encourage my partner, etc.
Unfortunately, my In Love boyfriend was my guinea pig since it was the first real relationship I was in. Having had no prior experience, we each kind of worked through all our crap with each other and not always in a healthy way. And while he was definitely capable of adding drama, I was too and we kind of manipulated and mistreated each other in a very sick way.
This is a long way of saying: it is possible to break up with someone you’re in love with when you realize that being “in love” is unfortunately, not enough.
As a side note, I believe you absolutely develop crushes on other people, in love or not. Just because you’re married or in a long-term committed relationship, say, doesn’t mean that you suddenly stop crushing on other people. I think it becomes dangerous when you ACT on those crushes but having a little crush? Normal.
As far as getting over someone, oh my GOODNESS, I don’t think it matters who broke up with who. I broke up with both In Love Boy and Candy Counter boy and it took me years to get over both of them. Just because I was able to see the bigger picture, that ultimately in the end, the relationship was not able to work out, didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like hell when it was over.
There are lots of feelings to work through, especially for me because I have issues trusting myself. I felt extremely guilty, I questioned my decision and above all, I was devastated and sad. The men I date become my best friends and when we break up, they disappear. That emptiness is very very hard to “get over”. I have experienced similar feelings with friends who are no longer in my life, etc. Maybe some people are okay with people abruptly disappearing from their lives but I am not so…it did take quite a few years to adjust to that absence.
The dumper and the dumpee both have a right to be sad and to struggle with “getting over” someone. While I admit, it SUCKS to be rejected, sometimes it doesn’t suck any less to reject.
And the last thing I’ll say is that it is much easier to dump someone and move on when that person is an asshat, when they are annoying, condescending, dramatic, clingy, a pathological liar, a serial killer, etc. The men I have dated? Are incredibly beautiful, intelligent, kind, hilarious men. So…not that easy to close the door sometimes!
PHEW. Hope this helped.
Wow, that was quite a reply. You could have just said “long distance relationship” and that would have cleared up nearly everything. That’s the missing piece that I needed to understand that sequence of events. But, I’m glad you went the extra mile… or ten. I should have expected as much from such a prolific blogger!
I’ve only had one serious relationship in my life and I ended it precisely because I developed a crush on another woman. I figured I couldn’t be in love if I was crushing on someone else. And I was crushing HARD. My ex made me promise that I would keep in touch and always be friends with her, and I happily agreed. I did keep in touch with her. Eventually she stopped keeping in touch with me. She’s married, now. I dated her for over a year and there was no “getting over” period for me after I ended our relationship. I knew it was time to move on and that was that. I’m relating this so you know the frame of reference I’m operating from in asking those questions, and also because I think your candor and the level of detail in your reply deserve some reciprocation. Thank you, Laura.
Here’s the part of Brooklyn I’m moving to: http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Brooklyn&state=NY&address=87+Graham+Ave.
Now you know about as much about it as I do.
Wow, we have a lot in common. For instance, I am also named after Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder, and my mom also picked the name out when she was very young. I’m also the 2nd child of 4, and the 1st girl. I could go on!
Woah! That is creepy! Welcome, Laura E.! I love your name.
i totally have a girl-crush on you now
Hey Laura, never read these 100 things b4, and even now I had to skim it. I think your talent and honesty are unique, I really do appreciate it…been down lately and thought maybe being happy only belonged to young peeps, and I should give it up, so to actually enjoy something again…hope revisited.
I used to be dirt poor, then I wasn’t for a little while and am again, can’t afford a telephone or internet access anymore. I know your folks a little bit, and they would have to produce possible genius, and you took what they gave you and ran with it.
So,I just saw that someone got a girl crush on you…isn’t that sweet?
I can use the library puter and I will try to catch up the months of your work I’ve missed, soon. When you see your folks give them a hug, I have a girl crush on both of them…