A Hundred Things
1. My name is Laura Elizabeth Dlug.
2. I was named after Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder, author of the famed Little House on the Prairie books.
3. My mom had my name picked out since she was seven.
4. This is very endearing to me and proof that I was destined to be a genius.
5. I learned to read when I was two and a half.
6. To this day, I read really really fast.
7. No, seriously. Faster than that.
8. I took my reading and writing very seriously and in the 4th and 5th grade I wrote a lot of macabre poems about dying.
9. The principal called home and wanted to know if everything was “alright at home”.
10. It was. I just had a crazy imagination.
11. This continued to get me into trouble as I spent junior high reading every Stephen King novel ever written and lots of books about the Holocaust.
12. I spent a lot of time reading because I was made fun of a lot in junior high for my undying love of showtunes and my irritating habit of singing them whenever possible.
13. I also didn’t know how to dress and my family was poor.
14. I have three siblings and the nice thing was, we were all poor together.
15. My dad was an upper-middleclass, doctorate-degree toting bachelor when he met my mom and she popped out four kids and all his money disappeared.
16. My father was my mother’s math teacher in high school.
17. She kind of hated him and to this day, his class is the lowest grade on her transcript.
18. But then she realized he was super dreamy and they went out after she graduated.
19. They’ve been married over thirty years despite a twelve-year age difference, an eleven-inch height difference and going through some really crazy shit.
20. My mother and I are like oil and water. More specifically, she is a very devout Roman Catholic and I am a way less devout Roman Catholic with a side of Roman Catholic guilt plus extra guilt.
21. I go to therapy once a month and I usually talk about my mom and boyz. My therapist is a Jew who finds my Catholicism fascinating. I find him refreshing.
22. I do not go to church regularly but I have not officially “left” it.
23. I wonder if church is more of a nostalgic thing for me at this point; I enjoy going because of the memories it brings back to me rather than what I get out of it now.
24. I am a Type A, anal-retentive firstborn child even though I am the second born.
25. My mother says this is because I am the first girl.
26. My mother is very into the psychology of birth order.
27. I buy the same weekly planner every Christmas and I color code my desk calendar according to what month it is. (January is blues and grays, February I do reds and pinks.)
28. I am aware of how much of a tool I am, thank you.
29. I am a terrible driver and once crashed my car into a concrete meridian coming out of JFK International Airport. I have scars on my left arm from the airbag, which burned my skin off. YAY AIRBAGS.
30. When I was little, I thought I was exactly like my mother but it turns out, I am much more like my father.
31. Just…shorter. And half as Polish.
32. The first Broadway show I ever saw was “Crazy For You” in the 4th grade.
33. My second was “Beauty and the Beast” on an 8th grade field trip and after that, it all meshes together because seeing shows is all I ever did.
34. When I was in high school, I would take the train with my cousin Tom or my best friend Sam to the city and we would wander around and buy student tickets to Broadway plays.
35. Tom is my cousin and best friend in the world. We went to college together.
36. I have a BFA in Music Theater from the University at Buffalo.
37. This qualifies me for absolutely no high-paying jobs at all, ever.
38. I temp for a huge financial company and my boss is the loveliest woman alive and that is how I am able to get to auditions AND pay my bills simultaneously. I know how lucky I am.
39. In college, the head of the music theater department picked favorites.
40. I was never her favorite.
41. I did score some amazing parts though and I like to think it was because I deserved them.
42. If I could go back and do college over, I would’ve dated more people and not had such serious relationships.
43. I would’ve focused more on having friends.
44. Sometimes, when the weather feels like a very “Buffalo” day, my roommate and I sit down on the couch and have a good cry.
45. Both of my roommates went to college with me.
46. They are very homosexual.
47. One of them works for a world famous fashion designer, the other is currently on tour with “Legally Blonde”.
48. We live in Astoria, Queens which is about a twenty-minute subway ride out of Manhattan.
49. I am in love with New York City, always have been, always will be.
50. Though sometimes, when I’m stuck on a crowded subway next to someone with bad breath, I think about moving away and living on a farm.
51. Ideally, I would like to have both: a NYC apartment and a house in the country.
52. I’m using “country” loosely. I don’t mean “Out in Bumblescrew Alaska”, I mean maybe…Westchester County?
53. Connecticut? Vermont? North Carolina? Washington State? Please someone, tell me. Where do I want to live when I grow up?
54. New York City is truly perfect but I’m not entirely sure I want to raise my children here.
55. I think about raising children wayyyyyy too much.
56. Sometimes I feel like I still haven’t done anything wild and crazy. Probably because I have control issues.
57. And I am kind of a toddler. In an ideal world, I would eat a snack every three hours and sleep a full ten hours a night.
58. I never get ten hours of sleep. Ever.
59. I also have to pee approximately one hundred times a day.
60. I also cry at everything including not but limited to: commercials, one hour episodics on ABC and when I am very tired.
61. I have not committed to being an actor for the rest of my life.
62. Only for right now.
63. Despite the rejection and discouragement, I have no desire to give up, not in the slightest, not even a little bit.
64. However, I promised myself that the moment it makes me more unhappy than happy, I am out. I think I will know when this moment arrives.
65. I grow very frustrated when I think about the fact that as a woman, I have to factor in childbearing and a biological clock with my career and men don’t.
66. I have been in love one time in my life.
67. I broke up with him after two years because I needed to experience life.
68. And by “experience life”, I mean I had a crush on the boy who worked at the Student Union Candy Counter.
69. It took me three years to get over my ex. He writes amazing songs on the guitar but ultimately, I needed a lot more than that.
70. Student Union Candy Counter Guy is married to someone else. I found out in an e-mail and cried for two months. I’m better now.
71. During my rebellious phase, I dated a convicted felon. He did 3.5 years for armed robbery and had a tattoo on his chest of a heart with the name PATRICIA inside it.
72. I guess I did kind of have some wild and crazy times.
73. I went to Italy with my best friend, Alayna, in May of 2008. My soul was transformed. I also got hit on a lot. It was good for the self-esteem.
74. The hardest thing about dating in New York City or anywhere really is that I rarely find people that challenge me intellectually.
75. I don’t think this is because I’m particularly smart but because I’m easily bored.
76. I have to say that I have a track record of being attracted to really tall guys.
77. I think this is because I like feeling smaller.
78. Why is it that the men you wish would ask you out never do and the ones who DO ask you out are the ones you don’t want?
79. I am a good combination of both my mother and father’s genes. I have the Polish hair and eyes but the Italian ability to tan like a mofo.
80. I have never liked my stomach and I have long long limbs which makes me muppet-like and also, spastic. I do have lovely beautiful strong legs though so, HA.
81. I like to run, swim and take yoga and now this sounds like a match.com ad.
82. I joined match.com for two weeks. I went on one very nice date and one God awful date. The man made a Down’s Syndrome joke within the first five minutes of meeting.
83. I became a vegan in December of 2006 because the guy I was dating was a vegan and he convinced me. We broke up with lots of drama but I remained vegan for close to two years.
84. Today, I settle somewhere between veganism and vegetarianism.
85. I make exceptions for going out to restaurants and also, most desserts. Exceptions include eggs, cheese or seafood.
85. I often think about how to raise vegetarian children without raising 1) children who get made fun of and 2) brainwashed children.
86. I sometimes think men find vegetarian women a turn-off.
87. I am trying to lessen my consumption of leather. It’s hard. I love shoes.
88. My family went ballistic when I gave up meat but now, my dad and I eat tofu together because he has prostate cancer and red meat + dairy = accelerate cancer cell growth.
89. I love my dad more than I love anyone in the entire world.
90. I wrote my own cabaret in July of 2008 and performed it for 74 of my closest friends and family.
91. My sister laughed so hard she cried and then cried because she was laughing. She does this a lot. It is the cutest thing you’ll ever see.
92. It helps that she’s 4′11. I got the height, she got the boobs.
93. My older brother is married to a fellow geeky computer programmer. My little brother is a tattoo-ed badass and we go to concerts together and rock it out.
94. I like coconut tea. And rosebud tea. And peach tea. AND ALL KINDS OF TEA.
95. I love coffee too but can only drink decaf. I like it with a crazy amount of soy milk, about half milk, half coffee.
96. I think mushrooms and veal are the two grossest things to ingest. However, avocado, artichokes, spaghetti and Thai food? All cause for celebration.
97. I’m working on being a better listener, being less self-critical, not taking things so personally.
98. I’ve had this blog since 1998 when it was hosted on a site called “xoom.com”. Three people read it.
99. A lot more people read it now but few ever comment.
100. I love each one of them. And also, you.
Lau, I am reading a couple at the times and keep coming back to read more xD You are fun, and this is a great way to know you xD I love how you write I swear!! Makes me keep reading!! xD And I WANT TO SEE NYC SOMEDAY!!
Seems like a wonderful place to be 
For now tho, I am moving to Norway at the end of the year 
so at least we’ll share seasons 
Thanks Gisele! Come on down to NYC anytime!!
[...] A Hundred Things [...]
Astoria. Cool. I’m moving to Brooklyn on Monday. Maybe Tuesday. I’m having trouble picturing you “rocking out.” I must witness this someday.
I have a few questions about 66 - 69. Do you think it’s possible you weren’t really in love? I’m finding it difficult to understand why you would break up with someone you were in love with. Perhaps there are a few more steps in there? Fell in love, fell out of love, developed crush on candy counter boy?
And why did you have to “get over” someone you broke up with? Particularly a “getting over” that was such a lengthy process? Generally, I think people have to get over someone who broke up with them, not get over someone they themselves dumped. Did you try to get back together with him? Did you actually date candy counter boy?
Why am I so fascinated by this? It’s like a romance novel Cliffs Notes with most of the pages missing.
Brooklyn! Amazing! Welcome. What part?
Oh my, it’s complicated, I think. I do believe I was truly in love, the only time I ever have been I think. However, I was very young and when I went to college, it became long distance. It was also very manipulative and dysfunctional towards the end. I believe it was a very co-dependent relationship, if you will. And since I am not by nature a co-dependent person, I felt very smothered.
The Candy Counter Boy represented something very appealing: a more stable boyfriend? not to mention a boyfriend who was around? Candy Counter boy was extremely appealing and while breaking up with someone you’re in love with doesn’t seem logical, I definitely went ahead and did it. (Candy Counter Boy and I dated for almost 2 years, broke up and dated again for another year at a later point in time.) It was the best decision I ever made and Candy Counter Boy ended up teaching me a ton of things, most importantly, how to exist in a mature, healthy relationship which is something I had not figured out until I met him. So, instead of co-dependence, I learned how to establish boundaries, how to communicate, how to support and encourage my partner, etc.
Unfortunately, my In Love boyfriend was my guinea pig since it was the first real relationship I was in. Having had no prior experience, we each kind of worked through all our crap with each other and not always in a healthy way. And while he was definitely capable of adding drama, I was too and we kind of manipulated and mistreated each other in a very sick way.
This is a long way of saying: it is possible to break up with someone you’re in love with when you realize that being “in love” is unfortunately, not enough.
As a side note, I believe you absolutely develop crushes on other people, in love or not. Just because you’re married or in a long-term committed relationship, say, doesn’t mean that you suddenly stop crushing on other people. I think it becomes dangerous when you ACT on those crushes but having a little crush? Normal.
As far as getting over someone, oh my GOODNESS, I don’t think it matters who broke up with who. I broke up with both In Love Boy and Candy Counter boy and it took me years to get over both of them. Just because I was able to see the bigger picture, that ultimately in the end, the relationship was not able to work out, didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like hell when it was over.
There are lots of feelings to work through, especially for me because I have issues trusting myself. I felt extremely guilty, I questioned my decision and above all, I was devastated and sad. The men I date become my best friends and when we break up, they disappear. That emptiness is very very hard to “get over”. I have experienced similar feelings with friends who are no longer in my life, etc. Maybe some people are okay with people abruptly disappearing from their lives but I am not so…it did take quite a few years to adjust to that absence.
The dumper and the dumpee both have a right to be sad and to struggle with “getting over” someone. While I admit, it SUCKS to be rejected, sometimes it doesn’t suck any less to reject.
And the last thing I’ll say is that it is much easier to dump someone and move on when that person is an asshat, when they are annoying, condescending, dramatic, clingy, a pathological liar, a serial killer, etc. The men I have dated? Are incredibly beautiful, intelligent, kind, hilarious men. So…not that easy to close the door sometimes!
PHEW. Hope this helped.
Wow, that was quite a reply. You could have just said “long distance relationship” and that would have cleared up nearly everything. That’s the missing piece that I needed to understand that sequence of events. But, I’m glad you went the extra mile… or ten. I should have expected as much from such a prolific blogger!
I’ve only had one serious relationship in my life and I ended it precisely because I developed a crush on another woman. I figured I couldn’t be in love if I was crushing on someone else. And I was crushing HARD. My ex made me promise that I would keep in touch and always be friends with her, and I happily agreed. I did keep in touch with her. Eventually she stopped keeping in touch with me. She’s married, now. I dated her for over a year and there was no “getting over” period for me after I ended our relationship. I knew it was time to move on and that was that. I’m relating this so you know the frame of reference I’m operating from in asking those questions, and also because I think your candor and the level of detail in your reply deserve some reciprocation. Thank you, Laura.
Here’s the part of Brooklyn I’m moving to: http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Brooklyn&state=NY&address=87+Graham+Ave.
Now you know about as much about it as I do.
Wow, we have a lot in common. For instance, I am also named after Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder, and my mom also picked the name out when she was very young. I’m also the 2nd child of 4, and the 1st girl. I could go on!
Woah! That is creepy! Welcome, Laura E.! I love your name.