Things That Made Me Nauseated In My 1st Trimester

January 28, 2016

Now that I’ve done and had my baby, I feel it might be safe to recount my experience with the first trimester of pregnancy, just for fun. My nausea set in around 5 and a half weeks and didn’t let up until 14 and a half. “Morning” sickness is a lie, as I felt horrible all day long, the worst of it at night. (OH GOD, THE NIGHTS.) I remember scrambling to leave work early so I could brave the subway and get home before the worst of it hit because hoo boy, the subway when you’re not feeling well, RIGHT?

It was a horrible feeling. I tried hard to be grateful, considering how easily I became pregnant, but I could only keep up the “THIS IS TOTALLY FINE!” attitude for so long. Around week 8, I started actually vomiting instead of just dry heaving which really kept the experience alive and interesting for me. There were too many nights where I lay on the bathroom floor clutching the toilet and crying, wondering how much longer I would feel so bad. The trick of “morning” sickness is that eating actually makes you feel better for awhile…but eating when you feel nauseated is very, very hard to do.

But that’s over now. And I have a sweet little baby now. In the grand scheme of things, 9 weeks of feeling like you’re suffering from a terrible stomach virus is a small price to pay, right?

(HA HA SERIOUSLY I’M NOT ACTUALLY SURE ABOUT THAT)

So, without further ado, here’s a list of

Things That Made Me Nauseated In My 1st Trimester:

– vegetables
– brushing my teeth with a toothbrush
– brushing my teeth with a baby toothbrush
– thinking of brushing my teeth
– the smell of raw tomatoes (which I was told do not have a smell. LIES!)
– the thing I was craving and walked many blocks to order and bring home only to find after three bites that it was the most disgusting thing I had ever ingested
– my prenatal vitamin
– the grocery store
– thinking of all that gross food that lives in the grocery store
– a few pages of Glamour magazine containing beautiful illustrations of healthy recipes to cook for dinner. tonight!
– whatever that horrible person just microwaved for lunch at work
– the subway in the morning
– the subway in the evening
– walking outside sometimes (Seriously. *walk outside* *start dry heaving* J: WHAT IS IT!? WHAT IS IT!? Me: Just…the air…)
– fruit except for apples
– the entire beautiful meal my sister cooked for dinner on vacation, then subsequently all the other things my mom tried to feed me after that so I just cried and cried into a bowl of noodles about how I was going to probably feel nauseated forever someone please make it stop help
– coffee
– the headache I got from not drinking coffee

Things That Did NOT Make Me Nauseated In The First Trimester
– cheese
– apples
– walking outside sometimes
– yoga and the hour after yoga, where I felt GREAT
– peanut butter
– blueberry muffins

There is no graceful way to end a post about all the things that made you puke. So. Bye.

Fin.

2 comments

  • ESL

    No fun! So sorry! I had the prenatal vitamin thing. And also the toothbrushing thing. Which was the worst — yuck. I just threw up. I need to brush my teeth. Oh yeah. Endless spiral. To this day (more than 9 years later), I can’t use toothpaste with bakin soda.

  • Tim Eimiller

    “Just… the air…” made me laugh.

    Hooray for blueberry muffins!

    Sheesh, this was one day shy of a year ago. I’m sure I’m not the only one missing your blog. You’re such a gifted and hilarious writer. Hope you’re well, Laura!

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