Hey Neighbor.

January 24, 2016

Hi! How are you guys? Just living next door to us, as usual, right? Ha.

Oh. The baby? Yeah.

Well. I wouldn’t call it CRYING. She’s not really a crier…it’s more like…yelling? Like loud talking kind of? But she’s a baby so it’s just kind of constant screeching? With some moaning mixed in?

Yeah. I’m sorry about that. Is it all the time? Yeah, it’s most of the time. I mean, she’s…spirited! That’s what we’re calling it these days! A SPIRITED CHILD! I have one! It’s awesome! No. Really. NO REALLY SHE IS SUPER AWESOME!!! She just has a lot of feelings. Which is surprising to no one, right? Because I have feelings?



The new album? Adele. Yeah. I’m sorry. It’s just. The baby LOVES IT. You put on “Hello” and the child immediately calms and crawls over to the speaker and just stares at it longingly. Then when Adele wails on the chorus, the baby just goes CRAZY. She just smiles and have you seen her smile? Probably not because she screams a lot but trust me when I tell you she has the GUMMIEST smile. It’s incredible. It’s SO CUTE. Well. It used to be gummy. Now she has two bottom teeth. They’re brand new. That’s why she was up 6 times last night. HA HA I’M SORRY YOU HEARD THAT.

No, seriously. Six times.

Yeah. I mean. She’s not much of a sleeper. Ever? No, not really. Not ever a sleeper. She’s got serious FOMO, as far as we can tell. Just wants to be hanging out with everyone all the time.

What? Oh. How am *I* doing? Considering I haven’t slept in 8 months? HA HA THAT’S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION I DON’T KNOW. I mean, we kind of hit a groove and she WAS sleeping through the night. Sort of. I mean. Up once or twice. But that’s cool, right? That’s okay. You don’t have kids. You’re not supposed to know what’s normal. Hell, I HAVE A KID AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S NORMAL. I’m pretty sure ‘sleeping through the night’ is one big ruse though and no kid actually is supposed to be doing that until like, age 2, but everyone makes it sound like you have a complete monster if your child is waking up more than once past 8 weeks old and it just kind of riles me up a little because anytime you run into ANYONE who knows you have a new baby, the first question they ask is HOW IS THE SLEEP? and you’re like Jesus Christ, I have a new baby HOW DO YOU THINK THE SLEEP IS!?!?!?!?!?

Sorry. I’m yelling. I didn’t mean to yell. I guess that’s where the little one gets it from HA HA!

Okay. Well. Have an amazing night. What are you guys up to?

Pizza and a movie? That sounds great. I’m probably doing the same. Except I’m going to fall asleep 20 minutes into the movie at like 8:30 because you know, the teething, I’m a little bit tired and honestly no movie is better than sleep nowadays, HA.



Thanks for not ever saying anything about how much the baby cries yell-talks. I know you can hear it. I mean, you share a wall. GOD KNOWS I CAN HEAR IT.

So, thank you.

And I’m sorry.

But trust me when I tell you that despite her yelling and her teething and my sleep deprivation, she is the BEST.

No, seriously.

The best.


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