You think I would’ve had something to say over the past few months given that I have a baby…growing…in my body.
And I do have a lot to say but I’m short on time. Or maybe it’s just that I’m really bad at prioritizing this little space on the internet. Here’s my attempt at remedying that: a post that is probably going to be all over the place, saying everything and nothing at the same time. You’re welcome.
I am 7.5 months pregnant.
How is this possible?
I do not know.
We are having a baby girl. (!!!)
I was convinced that it was a boy. I mean, completely convinced. So much so that when the ultrasound technician said “girl”, I said “can you check again?” and she gave me some real good NYC attitude and snipped “I know how to do my job” and then zoomed in on my daughter’s genitalia and started pointing out specifics until J and I were like OKAY OKAY WE GET IT PLEASE STOP THIS IS WEIRD.
I am completely delighted by the fact that it’s a she though hesitant about…a lot of things. On a practical level, the majority of my nanny experience involved boys. (Specifically two identical little buggers.) So a boy felt like something I knew, something I could handle. A girl felt scary. I immediately thought of how I felt about my mother when I was 13 and thought OH GOD, NO. And then a few people pointed out that I wasn’t going to birth a teenager so maybe calm down and relax?
So that’s what I did.
I’m trying to stay as zen as possible in general. Everyone always talks about how high maintenance they were for their first child and then by the time the second came around they were much more relaxed. I’ve attempted to approach this pregnancy as if it were my second. I haven’t paid much attention to the list of DO NOT EAT OR YOU WILL DIE foods (though this is mainly because as a vegetarian, I don’t eat most of them anyway). The first few weeks of pregnancy I was terrified to walk down the street, let alone exercise until I went to my therapist and was like HELP I AM AFRAID OF EVERYTHING AND ALSO REALLY BLOATED and she calmly said, “Laura, go to the gym”. And since then, I’ve tried to stay as chill as possible. I eat food. I exercise. I take naps. My baby will not be born a teenage girl who hates me. I got this.
I have 10 weeks to go and I’m trying to savor these moments before she arrives. Right now she’s easy to take care of and though everyone warns me I’m about to get really uncomfortable, I’m still feeling pretty good. The first trimester was so horrendous that even a random leg cramp in the middle of the night or baby elbow to the ribcage feels completely tolerable. We’ll see how I feel in a few weeks! For now, here’s a photo I took of my belly in an Italian restaurant bathroom. The End.