Tom Is In Town

December 20, 2012

OVER LUNCH, THAI FOOD

Tom: I’m reading this book about food and how this anthropologist/dentist did research in the 1900’s studying indigenous people and their diets.

Laura: How can you be an anthropologist/dentist?

Tom: He found that people in certain parts of the world had PERFECTLY STRAIGHT TEETH and NO cavities.

Laura: Like, that is the craziest double major.

Tom: ANYWAY. You probably had cavities and crooked teeth because you ate white sugar and flour growing up.

Laura: I definitely did that.

Tom: Well, people that never ate those things had PERFECT TEETH and they lived to be like 130 years old.

Laura: What did they eat? Vegetables?

Tom: Yes! A little meat but if they did, they ate it rarely and they’d eat the ENTIRE ANIMAL.

Laura: Ick.

Tom: Also, fish is good for you.

Laura: For my cavities?

Tom: Right. Well. That’s more to do with sugar.

Laura: But sugar is so delicious.

Tom: But if you don’t eat it you’ll live to be 130.

Laura: I’m never eating it again because I feel myself rapidly decaying as we speak.

Tom: RIGHT???

TWENTY MINUTES LATER, WALKING

Tom: I really feel like a cupcake.

Laura: As do I.

TEN MINUTES LATER, IN THE BAKERY

Laura: MINI CUPCAKES! I’ll have three.

Tom: ME TOO!

*pause*

Tom: Um. No. I’ll have six.

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