I few months ago, I wrote some stupid blog post about how I had lost momentum in my life and needed to just go out and MAKE STUFF HAPPEN because I lost my way a little bit. The problem was, in typical Laura fashion, once I got started with a little energy, I became a whirling tornado of DO ALL THE STUFF!!!! and I…um. I got in a little bit over my head.
This is a pretty strong pattern in my life, a tendency to go full throttle and take on as much as possible. (Not sure exactly what that’s about though I have some ideas.) I do have a lot of natural energy so bouncing around at high speeds is my ‘NORMAL’ setting and it is very, very hard for me to be still and just have a quiet night at home because WHAT ELSE COULD I BE DOING? I KNOW! I’LL COLOR COORDINATE THE BOOKSHELF AND TAKE AN ONLINE PERSONALITY QUIZ AND WHAT IS HAPPENING ACROSS THE STREET? SHOULD I GO SEE???
The challenge of living this way is that I will go go go until I physically can’t anymore and then I crash and burn and wonder whyyyy I can’t have a cookie and go to bed early because I’m so tiiiiiiiiired.
I’m sure we’ve all hit this place a few times, probably in college. Or at really stressful times in our lives when there is just simply too much going on.
I just kind of…operate this way all the time?
And it is so so fun until it is ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE.
It’s not the greatest pattern and I think my big New Year’s resolution will be to gently and determinedly work on uprooting it at its core which I already know will not be fun for me at first. AT ALL.
It’s not really awesome to be running all over the place like a crazy face, especially when you’re engaged to a human being who you want to spend time with and who wants to spend time with you. This partnership is teaching me lots of things, in an obvious way that my life is no longer just about Myself. (SURPRISE.) That’s a difficult adjustment for me to make because all these years of dating and not dating in NYC have taught me how to be really self-sufficient and a little self-involved in that I don’t always pause and stop to think about the way others might be affected by my choices.
Or even me, for that matter! I’m not taking care of myself and therefore, I’m definitely not taking care of anyone else.
This is all to say that HI! I moved into an apartment and started a new job and I’m halfway done with my 200 hour vinyasa teacher certification and I’m doing a workshop of a new musical improv form a few nights in December and my fiancé is the studliest man alive and we’re trying to lock down a time and place for our wedding which is exciting but also impossible because weddings are expensive and HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING? I HAVE BEEN A BIT BUSY.
Oh, I was so cute when I thought I would like, blog my way through my yoga training.
HA HA I’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR SEVEN WEEKS.
(I love it so hard.)
Also, I went to Los Angeles for Thanksgiving but my 2nd day there, my lips ballooned up like Meg Ryan’s due to an allergic reaction and hives broke out on my chin and my wrist and I ended up in an urgent care clinic where a nurse practitioner named Big Daddy gave me two shots of steroids and his carrot cake recipe.
In short, slow down, everyone.
And…I’ll just leave it at that.