What’s up dudes? And by dudes, I mean my mom, because I’m pretty sure she’s the only one left reading this. When of course she’s not bothering me to blog something in the first place. WHY DON’T YOU BLOG ANYMORE?, etc.

HERE YOU GO, MOM.

Two weeks ago something that I thought was a cold turned into the nastiest sinus infection of all time (which took me awhile to realize because I’ve never had a sinus infection, I don’t think?) and I ruined Labor Day weekend by basically just sitting around inside THE ENTIRE TIME in sweatpants moaning about how life is horrible. Also I ate a lot of gnocchi because it was the only thing I wanted. I even lost my appetite for vegetable dumplings and my boyfriend was incredulous like, if you don’t feel like eating Thai food, I don’t think I know you at all.

I was like bro, I don’t even KNOW MYSELF.

After about ten days of daily gnocchi and Sudafed, I was back to normal. But as we all know, ‘normal’ is a relative term here.

My latest temp job is ending shortly and along these lines, I’ve been investing a significant amount of time into finding a stable, full-time job with you know, health insurance and stuff. Possibly paid vacation. Which I think, if I ever experienced it, WOULD BLOW MY MIND.

Temping (much like nannying) was one of a few survival jobs I sort of fell into when I was young and moved to New York City to be an actor. I was really lucky and found some great situations that gave me the flexibility to audition when I needed to and the 9-5 grind was much easier for me than waitressing or bartending.

But then my life became less and less about auditioning and more about my office job and about doing improv and comedy stuff after work.

I’m realizing now how fulfilled I am by that set up and it shocks me. My 22 year old self who used to walk around the office rolling her eyes is stunned because I don’t mind working a day job. In fact, I really enjoy the stability and my current set up in particular brings me lots of joy, lots of challenge, lots of security.

I’ve decided it’s time to move beyond the world of temping, one foot in, one foot out.

Also, health insurance, amiriteladiez?

Figuring this all out has been difficult. It challenges what I thought to be true of myself: someone who seeks a job in a creative field vs. someone who has a ‘regular’ job that allows her to pursue creative things on the side.

The process has been confusing because the identity of myself as actor/performer is an identity that I’ve held for nearly twenty years which, let’s be honest, is the craziest thing. I thought rearranging that idea of myself would take me a few weeks and I’d move on but if I’m being honest, it’s taken me over a year. And it still baffles me sometimes and throws me for a loop.

If I’m not that, what am I?

It’s deep guys, am I right?

OH GOD. Let’s go back to talking about gnocchi.

Why is it so delicious? Is it hard to make at home? Should I give it a try this weekend? Or should I stop making pasta because ENOUGH ALREADY, LAURA.

What are you guys up to this weekend?

My boyfriend and I are exploring the fine neighborhood of Williamsburg this evening which is so hip it scares me. I am super excited! Maybe I’ll find some local organic free range gnocchi there.

WHO KNOWS.