YOU GUYS! What’s up!
Lots of shifting around and running around and blah blah over here but that’s annoying to say, right?
My cousin Tom says one of his his least/most favorite thing about people in LA is that when you ask them how they are, they sigh heavily and say “BUSY. I am SOOOOOOO BUSY!”
Now that’s my favorite obnoxious response. How am I? I’m so busy!
Busy doing what, you ask?
Oh, trying to get my boyfriend on a flight to DC for his cousin’s wedding last weekend which doesn’t sound too hard in theory considering my boyfriend:
* is human
* has two working legs
But, you see, the poor thing came down with an awful upper respiratory infection (TWO WEEKS AGO AND IT IS NOT GONE YET WHAT IS HAPPENING) and it very nearly killed him and so, getting him on that plane was very tricky as you can imagine he did not very much feel like traveling. So, psyching him up to go involved a few things and those few things were LOTS OF LIES ABOUT REALITY.
People: sometimes when you need to get on a plane, you need to paint a rosy picture for the sake of your loved one. You tell them everything is great so they believe you, so they do what they need to do and then you reward them at the end with some codeine-laced cough syrup.
LOOK AT THE TWO OF US!!!!!
(Thank you, Karen Carpenter!)
I will point out that my boyfriend does this to me constantly so I don’t feel so bad about it.
For example, when I believe that the giant bug in his bathroom is going to eat us while we sleep, he tells me that it won’t.
LIES I TELL YOU! LIES!!!
Anyway, walking proved exhausting for my boyfriend because he was kind of coughing all the time (violently and terribly and with much commitment and enthusiasm) and couldn’t breathe very well so I kept telling him that once we got to the airport, he would barely have to walk at all and he could rest which ended up being the biggest lie I ever told and that spiraled into so many lies, so many instances of telling him ONE SECOND, THINGS ARE ABOUT TO BE GREAT! And things would once again turn out to be…not great at all.
“All you need to do is walk through security and then the gate will be RIGHT THERE and you can sit down and cough your brains out! Seriously! Just walk right through AND SIT RIGHT DOWN.”
Nope. Our gate was the furthest gate from security. (Thank you, Delta!)
“Okay, so, all you need to do now is get up and have them scan your boarding pass and then you walk onto the plane and SIT DOWN! HOORAY THAT WILL BE FUN!”
Nope again. Our plane was parked a few miles away from the actual gate so they scanned our boarding passes and then we walked through that tube thing and then we were…outside. On the tarmac. So we could walk some more. !?!?
THANKS DELTA FOR REAL!
“Okay, so, all we have to do is actually get on the plane and then our seats will be RIGHT THERE and you can finally sit down! YAYYYYYYYYY.”
No. We were actually seated in the last row on the airplane.
The last row.
Which means we maximized the walking and we maximized my fear of flying by sitting in a very bumpy/loud spot!
(By the way, for people who hate to fly as I do, my new trick with turbulence is to tell myself that turbulence is just like driving on a bumpy road, no big deal, just a few potholes! This works surprisingly well until you realize you are actually hugging yourself while rocking back and forth audibly muttering BUMPY ROAD BUMP ROAD BUMPY ROAD and…congrats! Now you appear crazy!)
I don’t know who to thank for that.
But the point is, I’m learning a lot about relationships. Like, sometimes you are the cheerleader who keeps lying about how much walking is involved and sometimes you are the other party who just kind of tries his best not to completely give up on life as his lungs are giving up on him.
WE MADE IT THOUGH! And there may have been ample doses of cough syrup with codeine! And the wedding was loooooooooooooooooooovely! Oh I love weddings so much.
We are getting on a plane again later tonight, possibly we will walk a lot, possibly we won’t, unfortunately Sick Person is still coughing I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT but now we are headed to the beach and considering it’s been raining every single day this week in NYC, bring it on! Maybe the saltwater will cure him? Maybe wine? I’m out of ideas. But he was prescribed an inhaler as well so at least there are ample opportunities for me to make NERD/DORK/MATH CLUB jokes which is…probably not the nicest thing to do to your boyfriend when he is very sick? (But…an inhaler…it’s just…so easy…)
Anyhow, I hope our travels are a lot better than
I’m leaving for the airport shortly and I watched the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy yesterday and that…was not the greatest idea considering it was about…a thing…happening…with a plane….um.
Maybe it’s my turn for the cough syrup? I DO NOT KNOW.
Anyway, happy holiday weekend you guys!
Let’s talk soon.
And walk soon.
And stop coughing.