Let’s say you invited someone over, as a houseguest of sorts.

Let’s say this person had to get up and take a shower before you were even awake because they had to get to work.

Let’s say this person woke up and went into the bathroom and saw a bug in the tub that rivaled the bug mentioned here except it was actually worse because it had 4802 legs.

Let’s say your houseguest was running late and really needed to take a shower but couldn’t bring themselves to do it because this bug was crawling all over the tub being DISGUSTING so they just stood in the bathroom for like fifteen minutes in their pajamas silently screaming and possibly quietly crying because they didn’t want to wake you up and they didn’t know how to kill the bug because it was way too big to smush and also this person knows you are all about like, ahimsa and stuff and this is why they never kill bugs when they stay at your place NOT EVEN THAT HUGE SPIDER A FEW WEEKS AGO because you respect life and stuff even if they don’t. I mean, they do, your houseguest DOES RESPECT LIFE, but not usually in insect form and they do feel really badly about that pretty much always. But also, like, we’re talking about bugs. You know?

So this person turns the shower on in an effort to be brave, hoping the water will make the bug go away or hoping to at least try to co-shower with the bug which is just OH MY GOD NO except the water hurts the bug which BAFFLES YOUR HOUSEGUEST BECAUSE WHY ARE YOU IN THE TUB THEN, BUG!? IF YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF WATER PHOBIA? and the bug tries to run away from the water and your houseguest wants to help it because it doesn’t want to drown the bug but it doesn’t know what to do and it’s not sure if getting a broom will wake you up and also, then what is your houseguest going to do with a broom and a bug with 4802 legs?! Surely that bug will just get on that broom and crawl up your houseguest’s arm and then invade multiple cavities in her face and kill her and how guilty are you going to feel, you know?! SO GUILTY. TRUST ME.

So the bug finds refuge on the side of the tub and your houseguest decides to just shower…on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TUB but this proves difficult because she has to stand so she’s constantly staring at the bug making sure it doesn’t move and try to kill her while she shampoos her scalp and water and shampoo are getting in her eyes and UGH. So, your houseguest kind of takes a shower but it isn’t successful because she won’t let herself turn all the way around so she washes 3/4 of her body, eyeing the bug the entire time and then jumps out of the tub and realizes soon after that the bug isn’t moving because it is kind of dead and it turns out that even though bugs get involved with water, they probably shouldn’t, because it kills them and a feeling of horror washes (GET IT?) over your houseguest because she KILLED A BUG when she knows that you very much don’t like things killed.

And.

Well.

Your houseguest knows she should scoop up the dead bug and throw it away so you are not greeted with DEAD BUG CARCASS when you awaken except…

She is running late.

And the idea of picking up that bug without a dustpan or something makes her nauseated.

She does not know what to do.

So, MAYBE, because remember, this is purely a hypothetical situation and NOT A REAL ONE, your houseguest grabs a sharpie from your desk and a piece of paper and sticks a note to the bathroom mirror using a bright blue post-it and you wake up a few hours later to find a piece of paper stating:

BEWARE OF HUGEASS BUG IN THE TUB.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

with no explanation at all except that you MAYBE look into the tub to find a hugeass dead bug and you wonder, probably full of curse words (though you are trying not to curse!) what kind of A**H**** leaves a huge disgusting dead bug in your tub for you to deal with and trust me, your houseguest feels so bad about this but she is scarred for life from waking up to all those creepy crawly legs and silently screaming because she cares about you not to wake you up to deal with it but admittedly, you did have to deal with it when you woke up anyway except now it was soggy and even grosser than usual.

So.

Let’s say this houseguest did this to you…

Even though it wasn’t malicious at all and she realizes she needs to confront her fear and disgust of creepy crawler demons…

I guess my question is…

If someone left you a hugeass dead bug to deal with first thing in the morning with a note taped to your mirror…

Um.

Would you still love this person?