** DISCLOSURE: I am not pregnant. Please don’t think I am or Rita is gonna have a heart attack. THANKS IN ADVANCE. **
I am big into baby names.
I always have been.
It’s partly because I want some babies some day and I am also a dreamer and in case you didn’t know, a dreamer-who-wants-babies thing to do is to think up your favorite names and doodle them on a notebook with hearts and stars around them and see how good they sound with your boyfriend’s last name while you’re on a conference call at work.
Is that just me?
Setting back the feminist movement by one thousand years?
I’ve also done a fair share of babysitting here in Manhattan and with that territory comes meeting lots of little kids with fantastic unique names.
I was super into the trend that started a long while ago of naming kids what I call ‘Old Granny Names’.
Long gone are the Tiffanys and Jessicas and Brandons of my generation.
Popular kids names nowadays are Oliver! Owen! Grace! Ella! Olivia! Ezra! Camilla! Violet! Ruby! I’ve met them all! Plus 27 Harrisons and 42 Hudsons. I haven’t met a Myrtle yet but I’m dying to.
Anyway, I WAS SO BIG INTO THIS because all the names I like are those old granny names. SWEEEEET!
But then, of course, the trend blew up and I’m still not having babies and by now, all my favorite names are so, so popular that it makes me want to cry. Especially here in New York City. YOU CANNOT COMPETE IN NEW YORK CITY.
So, I’m continually on a quest to find a name that is both Awesome and Classic Granny/Grandpa Sounding while still being Mostly Unpopular.
(For no reason at all, mind you. Just to have an arsenal of these names already picked out so by the time I have a baby (AT 45!?), I’ll be good to go.)
This means if I hear a super strange kid’s name, I’m like WOAH AMAZING AM GONNA STEAL IT and my boyfriend makes this face like oh God, you can’t be serious, we’re not naming a future baby of ours Magenta Jane.
I’m only slightly exaggerating.
(Once, when I was at the playground with the twins, there was both an Axel AND a Maverick present. THOSE ARE NAMES OF HUMAN CHILDREN. I know. Plus, I WANT to be annoyed with those parents but I CAN’T because it strikes me as so, so great.)
ANYWAY. Somehow, this spawned a new game where my boyfriend sits and ponders baby names and throws them out at me to see what I might agree to.
And so, here is a list of baby names courtesy of me & my boyfriend.
NAMES YOU MIGHT WANT TO BORROW FOR YOUR KID SINCE WE ARE NOT HAVING ONE ANYTIME SOON
(WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, AN UNMARRIED SINNER?)
by Laura and her Man of Mystery
Ebenezer (I actually like this name in a legit way but it sounds like my boyfriend’s last name so it kind of rhymes together which makes it absolutely hilarious plus also my mom would murder me if I named a grandchild of hers Ebenezer. BUT WHY NOT? IS IT NOT THE GREATEST?)
Aren’t I so nice for letting you share these? People can be so protective about these types of things!