Tomorrow at 7 am, my flight takes off from JFK and hours and hours later after I have read 5 magazines, slept for two hours, watched a marathon of really bad reality television, the plane will land safely in LAX and I will be greeted by my nearest dearest Tom!!! and we shall skip around the palm trees for lo, it is Thanksgiving Day once again and I am in Los Angeles!
I am not staying nearly as long as I’d like this time, as flights this year were so expensive that I pondered selling myself on eBay to pay for it but decided against it because who would buy me? And also, who uses eBay anymore? No one, that’s who.
But book that flight I did! Because Tom is precious to me and has promised to freeze me to death once again in a brand new apartment because he has apparently moved out of Freezer of Death and into a brand new one I shall likely name Igloo of Doom.
(For those just catching up, Tom is my cousin/best friend who lives in Los Angeles and likes to keep his apartment as cold as possible so that I come home missing some toes and I hate him for that so much that my teeth are chattering at the mere thought.)
He sent me a text today that said “I asked if/how we could turn the heat on in our new apartment and they said no HA HA SORRY!”
Which I thought was a joke because with Tom it is always a joke and I was like VERY FUNNY, PACKED MY SNOWSUIT DON’T WORRY!
But then he called me.
And said he actually DID call to find out how to turn the heat on.
And they told him there was so much dust in the vents that the heat should not be turned on until they could clean them out.
This would happen at sometime in the future, probably next March.
“Woah,” I said. “I’ll pack sweaters as per usual. But, seriously dude? Thanks for asking.”
“YOU ARE WELCOME!” said Tom.
And then continued:
“You know, I wasn’t actually going to turn the heat on, even if they told me I could. I just thought I would ask.”
“To be nice?”
“Yeah! To be nice! But I’m not turning it on because I like it cold and there’s dust in the vents anyway and I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW!”
You are so, so lucky I like you.
And I’m off to pack some long underwear.
For my trip to…Los Angeles.