Oh hi helloooooo.

According to someone with a medical degree who I went to see last week, my lungs are clear! PRAISE BE! And I am only coughing and choking to death on a regular basis because the lining of my throat/lungs/etc. is dry! And needs to be…MOISTENED. Ew.

He recommended:

a cough suppressant at night which has the added bonus of making me drowsy!
a humidifier!
steaming my throat over some….steam once an hour for two minutes!

The humidifier is awesome.
Steaming feels amazing and totally works.
The cough suppressant made me feel drunk the first night and the second night?

Made me throw up.

That’s not…normal, right? That’s just gross. We don’t have to get into the details of cherry flavored puke, right? OH WAIT I JUST DID AHHHHHHHHHH SAVE YOURSELVES!!!

Is that the grossest throw up story you’ve ever heard? No, it’s not. Because I can tell you a better one.

Back when I was a young lass and my three siblings and I generally existed to make my mom wonder why she ever had us at all, during the summer my little sister got a stomach bug and ran to the bathroom to regurgitate all her dinner except she didn’t aim very well and got it in lots of places all over the bathroom, specifically the radiator which lines the bathroom wall near the toilet.

My mother cleaned it up because she is the best mother of all time and also, who ELSE was gonna do it? And we forgot all about Deb’s throw up of 1993 until the winter.

When the heat clicked on for the first time.

And we were all like WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL COMING FROM UPSTAIRS!!!!!?????

It was remnants of Deb’s throw up, sizzling on the radiator.

And there you go! The grossest throw up story of all time! YOU ARE WELCOME! KIDS ARE AWESOME! HAVE A DOZEN!

Anyway, BACK TO ME, I am finally feeling much better, after three weeks of ugliness. The doctor said I probably had an upper respiratory infection from the flu but my body CLEARED IT ON ITS OWN for lo, I am magical and all powerful.

I’m having a hard time getting back into a routine of any kind. When you spend three weeks kind of lolling about watching Friday Night Lights (I HAVE TWO EPISODES LEFT OF THE WHOLE SERIES! WHAT WILL I DO NEXT?!), it’s difficult to get your butt off the couch and go to the gym and write something important and pay your bills and get motivated because oh man, getting sick gives you a lovely automatic pause. You can just rest. And you feel awful. But you slow down. And I need that so much because I’m always so GO GO GO!

But now I don’t feel like go go going at all. I feel like eating some more soup and taking some more naps and that’s just lazy so HOP TO IT LAURA COME ON.

And now I am whining.

So I will stop.

I AM BETTER NOW! IT IS AWESOME!! LIFE HERE I COME!!!