Wouldn’t You Like To Live Here Too?
I’ve been really stressed out lately. It’s a culmination of things – still being unemployed, not sure what my next steps should be, tightening up things financially, getting really into hot sauce for the first time in my life and then standing in the grocery aisle wondering which hot sauce to buy because what on earth, how many brands of hot sauce do they MAKE!?
You know, usual stuff.
I was pushed over the edge Saturday afternoon while walking up 2nd Avenue talking to Alayna on my phone.
A girl my age who seemed perfectly normal walked up to me and asked me if I had a dollar or two to spare.
Now, I try to make a habit of giving money to people who ask me but I live in New York City and I just cannot give it to everyone and unfortunately right now, I really can’t spare much so I politely said, ‘Sorry! I can’t help you’. And proceeded to keep walking.
And so did the girl.
Who followed right behind me.
Leaning over my shoulder and yelling.
DO YOU HAVE A SOUL?
I…what?
DO YOU HAVE A HEART?
She kept yelling while I awkwardly asked if Alayna could hold on one second, I’m being verbally accosted by a girl who is obviously on some kind of drugs! Yay!
DO YOU HAVE A PERSONALITY??? she screeched.
At this point, I decided that it wouldn’t be all that weird if she then pulled out a knife and started stabbing me so I quickly crossed the street in an effort to get away from her and she just stood there staring after me screaming about what a huge bitch I was to anyone who would listen.
In the middle of the afternoon on Saturday. In broad daylight.
I…
Guys?
That was like, IT for me.
THE END.
I’d pretty much been walking around all week like a depressed zombie, an exhausted and exposed raw nerve and then psycho girl gets all up in my business screaming about how I don’t have a soul or a heart or a personality.
NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE, RIGHT GUYS?
I almost prefer the cracked out gentleman who walked up to me a few weeks ago and eerily whispered, “I’m going to kill her”.
GO RIGHT AHEAD, BUDDY.
This stuff ain’t personal. It’s New York City. It’s just that, my God, I can’t ESCAPE it sometimes. You walk out your apartment onto the street and there is just no buffer from anyone, really. And mostly I like that! Diversity, guys! RIGHT? ME! YOU! THE DRUG ADDICTS! JUST HANGING OUT!
I feel strongly that constantly having to get in the car to get anywhere is one of the things I like the least and that is why I love New York City the MOSTEST EVER except not lately because just leave me alone everyone, I need to go meditate in the middle of a field for like, a week.
Oof.
SO THAT’S WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON WITH ME!
Sincerely,
Laura
No Soul, No Heart, No Personality
xoxoxo
Gah! I hate these types of situations because in the moment I’m always so shocked that I can’t think of anything to say and then I spend the next hour (days) coming up with really great responses in my head. You know..for the next time some complete whack job starts screaming at me in broad daylight on the street. What the…?
Just for the record, none of those things she said to you are true.
You know you can, right? Go meditate in a field for a week?
Many monasteries offer hospitality to guests as part of their ministry, and for what is often a very reasonable (negotiable) rate, you can go and hang out and meditate/sleep/read/go for peaceful walks. Monastics are pretty low-key, nice people to be around.
I can make more specific recommendations if you email me.
I think I’ve met that girl. She’s pleasant.
I never give money to any beggars, anymore. I’m so jaded about all of them. I used to give them money, and I feel like such a sucker for it now that I know what a scam it usually is. Some of them make obscene amounts of money doing their shakedown routine.
Just remember that there are food banks and homeless shelters and no reason for any of these people to be begging for money for food. More often than not when you give them money all you’re really doing is paying for their alcohol or their drugs or their desire to get something for nothing for the rest of their life. Even government services and charities for the homeless don’t want us giving these people money, because they know it’s usually doing more harm than good.
For example: “Giving to people who beg is not a benign act without consequences,” said Mike Nicholas, a spokesman for Thames Reach. “As an organisation that has worked with people on the street for over 30 years, we have seen many lives damaged by hard drugs and alcohol misuse. We have even lost people through overdoses in situations where a significant portion of the money they spent on drugs came from members of the public giving loose change.”
As for hot sauce, Frank’s RedHot is the not-so-secret ingredient of real Buffalo wings. But I’m a fan of Tabasco. That will always be the ultimate hot sauce for me. Tabasco on clams on the half shell is my favorite dish.
Oh, and you have a beautiful heart and a beautiful soul and an AMAZING personality and anyone who says otherwise is just plain wrong.
Missed opportunity to yell “I know you are but what am I?”!
I know just how you feeling, after spending the last year unemployed. Don’t get into debt for it if you can help it, and remember all you need is 1 job! Then you can get more and better jobs.
Tim is right, both as to the giving money on the street, and to your heart/soul/personality.
Thanks guys! And don’t worry, I actually didn’t believe her. She was on drugs. And…I am aware that I have heart/soul/personality. FEAR NOT.
You have crappy taste in music, Laura. You have a beautiful heart and a beautiful soul and an AMAZING personality and a tin ear.
Didn’t want your head to get too big.
Laura, You were speaking to my soul. Thanks. Having just moved to this very bizarre country (UAE) for an American woman, you just put it in prospective. It is exactly what I needed to read at the right time. Maybe that is the only reason you were put through it. Yes, I just hijacked your moment and made it mine!
I would probably be more heartless than you. I just ignore them like they’re not there. I look in the other direction or start talking to someone. I usually whisper to the person by me, “Start talking to me…” and they don’t understand in time and I have to think of something else to do to be distracted.
You at least acknowledged them.
My brother is terrible with beggars. Or awesome. It’s hard to tell. He says things like, “You’re wearing nicer shoes than I am, how about you give ME some money?” Or, “I’m skinnier than you are, how about you buy ME some food?” And variations thereof.