Seems like since I moved to this crazy city to pursue an acting career, people around me would occasionally throw out “You should do improv! YOU CAN BE FUNNY!” and I would promptly ignore them because I was busy doing other things. LIKE HANGIN’ WIT MAH BOOOOOOYFRIEND!

No. But. Just other things. Like taking music theater audition classes and voice lessons and ON AND ON.

I also stayed away from improv mostly because unlike a lot of people, I never did improv. My high school did not have an improv team, I did not take an improv class in college so with the exception of like, Drew Carey I had no idea what improv was or why I should learn to do it. So I just smiled and was like I GUESS MAYBE PROBABLY NOT? and went on with my life, as you do.

Over two years ago, I finally buckled down and signed up for an Improv 101 class at Upright Citizens Brigade and I am going to be honest with you: it was not because I was finally like THIS IS HILARIOUS! I AM MEANT TO DO THIS! It was because my commercial agent was like uh, you should probably go take improv classes because all commercials are improvised now.

Yes. It was a business move. Not motivated by, like, passion for my art. And stuff. Or anything.

GOD MY STORYTELLING IS JUST SUPERB, RIGHT GUYS?

So I showed up and I want to tell you that it clicked for me and I was SO SO GOOD AT IT! and I was all WHY HAVE I NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE?! IMPROV MAKES MY SOUL SOAR!

Reality: I was a terrible improviser.

As in, I did not understand it at all.

I was sort of like WAIT, ONE SECOND, I AM GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING UP? AND IT HAS TO BE FUNNY? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HAND ME A SCRIPT AND TELL ME WHERE TO STAND? THANK YOU.

I would get this awful churning in my stomach about a half hour before every class and I don’t even know why I kept going because I felt kind of miserable the entire time.

I suppose I kept going back because every so often…it was fun.

When I could stop being so self-conscious…I had a really, really good time.

I also realized that I was bad at it, that it did not come easy to me and that super duper pissed me off because I am a perfectionist who would like a gold star please thank you! so when 101 was over, I signed up for 201. And then 301. And then 401 which is the highest you can go unless you get passed onto the Advanced Study program.

I was not passed onto the program.

I was upset by this but not surprised because I still didn’t think I was a very good improviser. I was learning, of course I was! But I was not really Advanced Study material.

So I decided to stop.

And I formed a practice group with some of my classmates.

And once a week, with a coach, we would just improvise.

That is correct. We would rent a room and make stuff up for two hours. BECAUSE THAT IS A LEGIT WAY TO SPEND SOME TIME, YOU GUYS.

And outside of the classroom environment?

IT WAS THE BEST. TIME. I. EVER. HAD.

There was no more pressure to BE THE BEST! There was no teacher in front of me to give me notes! There was nothing to do but be the craziest person I could be and I relished that and I felt myself opening up and breaking down the barriers of YOU MUST BE PERFECT! YOU MUST NOT FAIL! And instead I just was ridiculous and often I sucked so much that it was hilarious and I DIDN’T EVEN CARE.

(Here is where you picture the year I spent doing this passing by in a rapid movie montage with an upbeat pro-fem song playing in the background while I make funny faces and jump into the air and show you JUST! HOW! GREAT! I! FEEL!)

During this time (GOSH THIS GOT SO FORMAL ALL OF A SUDDEN), I decided to try my hand at musical improv as well which is basically still making stuff up BUT ALSO MUSIC. As in, making up scenes and then also melodies and lyrics.

Once again, I was super, super bad at this. AND YET, thanks to my practice group, I just tried to have the best time of my life and I showed up and I made up songs and it felt so good to sing again. Really, really sing. FOR FUN. And not in front of people who might want to put me in a show! Just sing! For the glory of singing! IT WAS LIKE CHURCH CHOIR PRACTICE ALL OVER AGAIN! EAGLES’ WINGS, GUYS. EAGLES’ WINGS.

A year passed. (As previously evidenced by the imaginary movie montage.)

I signed up to take 401 again at UCB.

This time, I passed into Advanced Study.

Simultaneously, I went through the entire musical improv program at The Magnet Theater. I finished the final level last week. And this past weekend, they held auditions for their house musical improv teams. Meaning, these teams perform every single Tuesday night at the theater. FOR FUN. FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO COME SEE THEM.

I received word yesterday afternoon that I was placed on one of those four teams.

I am now on an official improv team.

At a theater.

And I will be performing there just about every other Tuesday evening.

This all strikes me as insane and awesome and has made me just the happiest girl in the entire world.

Most importantly, it feels rewarding.

Because it wasn’t luck. Or chance.

It was earned by pure hard work.

I tried something, I wasn’t very good at it, I chose to stick with it and get better, I took a pause and found the joy in it, I came back around, I observed those around me and soaked up what they had to show me. Sometimes I was really funny. And sometimes I was really, really bad.

Improv.

Improve.

I improved.

And now I get to sing and be silly on a stage, twice a month. Which is really all I’ve ever wanted to do with my life out of anything in the entire world since I was 11.

It looks different than it did then. It’s not Broadway and it doesn’t pay anything.

But it is Freedom.

And Bliss.

And I’ll take it.

Because I worked hard for it.

So, I just wanted you to know that when you put in some effort and you put your head down and push through the yucky stuff, occasionally a super bright wave of AmazeAwesomeFantasticalness shows up for you.

And you can hop on it and yell THANKS! and ride it where you need it to go.

I am so super happy, you guys.

I thought you might like to know.

For proof that I am not a liar, here.