There was a great article in last month’s issue of “Psychology Today” about highly sensitive people. I’ve talked before about classifying myself as such and the struggles that go along with being so damn touchy feely. This article is fantastic if you are an HSP but also if you interact with one. (Twenty percent of people are considered HSP’s so there’s a good chance you do!)

Unfortunately, only a small snippet is up on the website, forcing you to buy the actual issue and I don’t know if it’s still around. I’m trying to get my hands on a copy because SOMEONE who shall not be named (Voldemort) threw mine away. Regardless, reading it was insanely helpful for me because:

* there was written medical confirmation that other people experience life the way I do

(they can point to areas of the brain where highly sensitive people have specific unusual activity!)

and

* being a Highly Sensitive Person does not need to be labeled a ‘bad’ thing

These are two really important points for me because they help erase a lot of the shame I often feel about my sensitivity. The article goes onto say that most HSP were told to ‘toughen up’ as children and that their feelings were often downplayed because, well, they have SO MANY FEELINGS! ALL! THE! TIME!

A woman is quoted in the article who might as well be me:

“As a child, a casual schoolyard taunt led to ‘sobbing and histrionics.’ Nowadays a small slight can ricochet through her body ‘like I’m actually wounded.’”

Woah, girl. That would be me.

I don’t blame those around me anymore who don’t understand or who told me to get a freaking grip. I’m not really sure that when I was little, anyone knew what was going on and I have to say that even on your best day, a highly sensitive child can be really annoying/irritating as they can get set off by something that makes ZERO SENSE to you. So, I can’t imagine dealing with someone like me on a regular basis.

In the same vein, dealing with that childhood pain of being misunderstood has been incredibly useful for me. No one really knew what to do with me but I also didn’t know what to do with myself. And I carry a lot of that confusion into adulthood and often feel bad for having any feelings at all not to mention an out of proportion reaction to something.

Thanks to a bunch of things, I’m able to own my sensitivity now. I don’t look to other people to fix it or baby me and tiptoe around me. It’s up to me to learn how to control my emotions and work out ways to interact in a healthy way with others.

Most importantly, the article stated a bunch of awesome things about Highly Sensitive People instead of focusing on all the negative that I usually hear. (WE CRY ALL THE TIIIIIIIIME!) HSP’s are not only incredibly in touch with their own emotions but they are often in tune with the emotions of those around them, even people they don’t know. As such, compassion and empathy and awareness come easily to HSP’s.

Not only that, but there is medical evidence that we not only feel things more strongly than others but we sense things too. We have a heightened sense of smell, taste and can see a vividness to colors that other people can’t. I was completely blown away by these facts because for twenty+ years of my life, I’ve walked around feeling like a weeping freak who has to get it together.

I now realize that my sensitivity is not something to hide, shy away from or apologize for. My work for the rest of my life will be learning how to reign it in and not throw up my reactions all over people. Of learning how to take a break by myself and decompress so I don’t explode. But I’ve accepted that. And I’m more than happy to do that work. (Meditation! THANK YOU.)

Also, one of my greatest weapons is the ability to laugh at myself. So even when a biker snaps at me WHILE GOING THE WRONG WAY I MIGHT ADD, YOU JERK and I cry for three city blocks because HE HURT MY FEELINGS, I’m able to step back and be like OKAY LAURA, THAT WAS DUMB.

Which is a pretty awesome gift. Not to mention all the medical brain jargon about seeing the vividness of colors.

I freaking really loved that.

So, yeah. I don’t know. I just felt like talking about it today as you might be an HSP too or you might know one or you might be that biker who SNAPPED AT ME AND IF THAT IS THE CASE I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.

Right after I stop crying.