How We Say Grace At My House
My Sister: LET’S EAT!
Rita: GRACE. WE MUST SAY GRACE. HOLD HANDS.
My Brother: Ooo, is that kale? I love kale.
Dad: WHO’S GONNA SAY GRACE?
Grandma: Rita, say grace.
Rita: Why me?
Me: This should be obvious to you by now.
Rita: Fine.
My Sister: JUST SAY IT, I AM SO HUNGRY.
Rita: (bows head) Dear Lord, we thank you for the gift of Laura on her 29th birthday…
My Sister: Mom.
Rita: (looks up) What?
Me: I’m 28, mom.
Rita: OH GOSH.
Grandma: What just happened?
My Sister: Laura’s 28, not 29.
Grandma: Oh my goodness! Did I say 29? I get so confused! But your birthday’s the 29th, right? And you turned 28? I AM SO SORRY. DID YOU GET THE CARD I SENT?
Me: No, Gram, it’s fine. Mom just said it. And yes, I got the card.
Rita: IT’S BECAUSE FATHER BOB ASKED ME AT WORK TODAY ABOUT THE 28TH AND I SAID THE 29TH AND I GOT CONFUSED…
My Brother: That kale looks really good.
My Dad: THIS IS SOME GRACE.
My Sister: So, Laura’s 28, let’s move on.
Rita: I only said that because of Father Bob and this scheduling thing at work. I KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE.
Me: I know, it’s perfectly okay.
My Brother: Did you saute that with cherry tomatoes and garlic?
My Sister: I am so hungry.
My Dad: RITA, GRACE.
Rita: LAURA HAD A BIRTHDAY. AMEN.
Everyone: AMEN.
My Dad: WELL DAT WAS GOOD GRACE. PASS THE GREEN STUFF.
My Brother: It’s kale.
My Sister: I can’t believe mom thought you were 29.
Rita: I KNOW HOW OLD MY DAUGHTER IS!!!
Grandma: You’re 28, right? 28 on the 29th?
Me: Could someone pass me the wine, please?
ha ha HA!!! First laugh of the day! Thanks! My little brother had his birthday celebrated on the wrong day for years, his day of birth being 3/4 and my fathers 5/4, it wasn’t till I was a teenager before I realized my mom was crazy off her rocker as we always celebrated his birthday on 3/5, a combo of the two dates. Messed my brother up for years.
LMAO. This is hilarious!!
Oh I love it. Funny enough as I went to comment this a picture of you and I in college popped up randomly on your flickr scroll on the side.
~Andrew
Have they forgotten your name, yet? Last time I went home my Dad called me Erik, Amy, Katie and Sasha. Sasha’s the dog. And she’s been dead for ten years.
Is Aunt Rita get addled in her old age? Or was she doing shots before dinner again?
Deanna, I love that you used the word, “addled”!!! Great word and SOOOO like your momma! Remind me to do shots more often coz maybe then I’d make sense!
Rita’s been addled for quite some time now. Her whole life, I think.