The Nice Thing About Losing Your Job
Is that you can spend three hours in the bathtub with really bad cramps and you don’t have to worry about how you’re going to take the bathtub out of your apartment and drag it onto the subway into the office without anyone saying anything about it because bathtubs are bulky and you can’t carry it yourself and you probably don’t have proper plumbing in your cubicle but damnit, you are going to FIGURE OUT HOW TAKE THAT BATHTUB TO THE OFFICE BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE THE DAY.
You know?
Now that I’m unemployed, I can just sit in the bathtub for three hours without worrying about taking it anywhere.
I just did that.
It felt really nice.
Okay, fine. I’m actually still doing that.
ALSO?
Last night I had a dream that I was actually friends with this stalker guy I used to work with. In real life, I thought he was a stalker. But in my dream, we were like besties!
It gave me hope because you guys? PEOPLE CHANGE.
I mean, in dreams they do.
OH ALSO?
In this dream, everyone had wings except instead of wings we called them Efrons?
As in, Zac Efron, I guess?
Anyway, I lost the wing on my left side which was supposed to be near my butt so for the entire dream, I kept turning to the stalker-guy-who-was-actually-nice and saying OH MY GOD I LOST MY LEFT BUTT EFRON!!!
What does this mean, guys?
(Get a job, amirite?)
NO THANKS.
In the mean time, what are you guys having for lunch today?
As soon as I get myself out of the bathtub, I might make some comfort food. Maybe an English muffin pizza like my mom used to make me. (Were you guys all into that? Because that is the best thing ever.) Speaking of my mom, did I tell you we’re going to Miami together in a few weeks?
That’s another nice thing about losing your job. You can just book trips to places because…working and stuff stops getting in your way.
SO THERE’S THAT.
Just picture it: me and Rita, taking Miami by storm.
I bet you’re all pumped for THAT blog series.
ANYWAY.
What’s for lunch, guys? Any crazy dreams lately? Should I get out of the bath anytime soon? ‘cuz I’m still here. Looking for my left butt Efron.
HELP ME. Day #2 of unemployment AND I AM ALREADY GOING INSANE.
Well, since I’m eating my lunch as I read this, I’ll tell you: I’m having leftover frittata w/ salsa, an orange, and a piece of blueberry gingerbread cake, with homemade whipped cream on top. All are recipes from this fantastic writer: http://family.go.com/blog/catherinewman/
Yes, people change. I know I’m not the person I was a few years ago.
For lunch I made sandwiches: Vine tomatoes, iceberg lettuce, spiced turkey, Swiss cheese and mayo on Italian bread. Not the most exciting sandwiches in the world, but I enjoyed them. I need to buy better lettuce. I have never had an English muffin pizza.
Crazy dreams? I just had the old standby classic where it’s the last day of school and you realize that there’s this class that you haven’t been to since, like, week two. I’ve had that dream probably a dozen times over the years. I’d be so panicked in the dream, and then so relieved when I woke up. This time was different, though. There I am, dreaming away, thinking it’s the last day of school, and then, when it dawned on me that I hadn’t been to a particular class since week two or so, I could not have cared less.
I hope going to Miami doesn’t mean we miss out on the birthday bash this year (say it ain’t so!), but I’m looking forward to the blog potential.
Help you? Well, if you ever want to chill out in a completely non-productive way, I’m your man. All I’d want to do is talk about music and movies and Doctor Who. Probably not the best use of your time. Of course, if you have any better ideas, I’m open to suggestions. Especially if the suggestions involve turtles.
Oooh, for lunch I had brown rice with zucchini, shredded carrots and tofu that had been marinated in lemon, Braggs and sesame oil. Major yum! English muffin pizza sounds awesome, too.
If it weren’t snowing outside, I’d want to go to Miami (I love when winter involves snow, not just cold).
As for the unemployment piece: sign me up.
Today for lunch I ate a Twinkie, a Hostess cupcake, and a salad. I figured the food additives in the first two might give me a longer shelf life.
Two questions:
1. How’s your ankle and knee? My ankle (left) is getting better, but my knee (right) hurts like hell.
2. How long can you afford to remain unemployed? That’s kindof the kicker with unemployment, ya know. No money means no apartment, no fun trips, no lattes, etc.
I saw your double yesterday in New Orleans. I had to do a triple take because I thought I might have stroked out and the internet started to bleed with reality – a cat playing a piano, Charlie biting fingers and you. But seriously she looked a lot like you. I should have taken a picture. You aren’t by any chance celebrating Mardi Gras and it was actually you?
Wow, Kyle! No, but I wish! HUZZAH NEW ORLEANS.
Old Novice – 1. My ankle/knee are not 100%. I actually have a follow up appt. tmrw. It was supposed to be a few weeks ago but the doctor had to cancel. FRUSTRATING. I’ve managed to heal most of the pain with hot yoga. I don’t know medically what I did but I assume I stretched through all the nasty scar tissue. However, it still feels a bit unstable so I’m hoping they’ll give me an Rx tmrw for some PT. 2. I actually qualify for unemployment benefits from the government which is not a lot, trust me. So, I’m not talking years of leisurely living. Probably a few months. I’m aiming to try to make it through the summer without going back to work full time. We’ll see how I do.
Julie – BWA HA BEST COMMENT EVER.
Good on the unemployment. I’d just ASSUMED you didn’t qualify as a temp.
Hot yoga, huh? I’ll look into that.
Oldnovice – Do it! Though I actually think any kind of yoga would help! Just partial to the hot room myself.
here’s my craziest most recent dream:
i am in my hometown walking down a residential section of the main drag in town. i go visit my friend joan* (who has never lived in/visited said hometown, but who appare lives there now). the weather is kind of windy/gray. she mentions she can’t stay out long she has to see her friend mary*. later that same day, we are walking back the other way. there are a lot of people walking on the sidewalk too (which is unusual – no one walks in my hometown) and the sky looks ominous and i see black birds in the sky. there are tornado warnings. suddenly a funnel appears and sucks up my friend joan who screams and gets thrown way way way way far away and i think ‘omg i think joan is dead.’ then i wake up.
thoughts? i am going crazy? ugh i knew it!
*names were changed.
i heard you are visiting la. i. am. excited.