Twin: (looking up from drawing a picture) Do you know what HPV is?

Me & The Roommate who just happened to be with me at the twins’ house: *WIDE-EYED STARING AT EACH OTHER*

The Roommate: (hissing) HPV!? HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT STD’S!?

Me: I DON’T KNOW!?

The twin: You guys? HPV means HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.

Silence.

Me: Um, that’d be HVD, dude but that one sounds bad too so, MAYBE IT’S OKAY WE DON’T ABBREVIATE EVERYTHING, OKAY?

…

My Dad: SO WE’RE LEAVIN’ IN A LITTLE WHILE TO GO VISIT UNCLE STAN AND AUNT CAROL FOR A FEW DAYS.

Me: New Jersey here you come!

My Dad: YEAH! DEY LIVE ON A GOLF COURSE! YOU KNOW IN ONE OF THOSE COMPLEXES!

Me: Totally! That should be fun!

My Dad: YEAH! AND TOMORROW NIGHT, WE GET TO GO TO A FANCY DINNER AT THEIR PLAYHOUSE.

My Mother, In The Background: CLUBHOUSE, DEAR. IT’S CALLED A CLUBHOUSE.

My Dad: DAT’S WHAT I MEANT. A CLUBHOUSE.

Me: I was gonna say. Playhouse sounds super weird. I was like, what kind of complex does Uncle Stan live in anyway!?

My Dad: DON’T WORRY. IT’S JUST A PLACE WE CAN EAT.

Me: Enjoy!