When Everything Crumbles Down At Once
I slammed my knee into the small television in a taxi cab on Saturday and now I have a bruise the size of Jupiter.
I can’t stop coughing, stayed home sick yesterday and am pretty sure I have either strep throat or bronchitis.
I spent yesterday with a dear friend who was just told his father was given a few days to live and as we sat on my couch, both of us crying, he got the call that his dad had just passed away. And so, we cried some more.
Today, I found out that I have lost my job.
And so it goes.
I know that things always work out. That in the end, everyone is okay. That people lose jobs and find better ones and people lose loved ones because that’s how life is and at the end of the day, we’re all trying madly to control a world that is impossible to control. The natural state of life is agitation. Constant motion. A slight shifting or a major upheaval, nothing ever stays the same.
All we can do is stay present. What is true right now? How can I get through this moment? This one, hard, aching moment?
Well.
My plan for my next few moments is to hunker down under my covers with some orange juice. I need one more good cry. And a nap. Maybe some pizza.
When I’m ready, I’m going to make a plan. I can put an ice pack on my knee. I can call my friend to see how he’s doing. I can take some Emergen-C or walk to the pharmacy for some cough drops. I can make a list of people to call about employment. I can choose to look at losing my job as terrifying and uncertain or I can look at it as freeing and beautiful because I can go anywhere, do anything. I think I choose to look at it as all these things.
I’m okay.
How are you?
I’m so sorry about your friend’s Dad.
Enjoy the OJ & Pizza while you are hunkered down, wallowing if you need to, and when you emerge, best of luck of a new beginning!
Indeed hunker down for a little while, the world will still be spinning when you come up. I’m really sorry for all the crap news you’ve gotten. Take care of yourself (and your friend – if they need it, and if you can).
I’m okay, too. If you ever need anything, call me. I’d be happy to help in any way I can. Really.
You Guys – are all amazing. Lovin’ on you so much right now.
You are a bright and beautiful presence on my computer, and yes, you are okay. Feel the love!
Its just one of those weeks maybe even months. This year hasn’t started out with a bang but a cough and an exasperated grunt. I think we are internalizing the weather and the general blah of the recent weeks. Everyone around me is sick and I’m just on the closing end of a terrible sickness where I didn’t want to move and all i did was sleep and watched old British comedies.
I feel sorry for everything that is and has happened to you but you have a good plan laid out. I hope you feel better soon.
I’m thinking Road Trip. Call me.
I hope things start improving for you soon! I also try to control the world and am forced to realize almost daily that there is sooo much that is out of my hands. 2010 was the most difficult for me personally and I am so looking forward to improvement in 2011. It hasn’t happened yet, but I am still hopeful. I hope this year starts to improve for you as well and that the job lost only opens a door for an even better beginning. Let yourself wallow until you just don’t want to anymore. You will be fine!!
I … oh, that sucks. What a day. I’m sorry. Sounds like you have a good plan (i.e. wallow and then make a plan). Good luck!
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it’s how we choose to look at things. Sometimes we can’t get there but when we can it makes all the difference.
For years I “hated” winter. I live in Canada where winter is basically a year round event – or feels like it. For over half the year I would be a real grouch. This year, however, I was out walking one beautiful snowy day and it suddenly hit me with a shock – I don’t really hate winter at all. I actually LIKE winter. This realisation has made all the difference in my mood this year. As they say, we can’t control what happens to us in life but we can choose how we react to it.
Once again, I love you guys. I really, really do.
One of your strongest assets, Laura, whether you want to admit to it or not … is your emotional strength. You’re gonna be just fine.
Cold as the North Pole up your way lately, which doesn’t appeal to this Texanite, but if you can handle that (which you do every year), I think you can handle pretty much anything.
I look forward to reading the next chapter of your life story (probably beginning next week).
Any word on your ankle?
OldNovice – You are amazing! Thanks! And it is freezing today. I walked out this morning and it was 6 degrees. 6! Brings back fond memories of my Buffalo days! I am still awaiting approval of my financial aid application in order to start physical therapy but I’ve taken matters into my own hands. With each hot yoga class, the ankle stretches and strengthens some more. It’s almost 100% back to normal just from that! The knee is a little ways more to go! I’ll keep you posted.
Laura – Come work for Buddy Media. I am sure we can all use your sunshine personality. I am serious. Ping me.