Christmas Shopping For That Vague Someone
Me: If I buy him socks, will that be weird?
JK: Um, I don’t think so.
Me: I mean, I don’t want his wife getting mad. I just don’t know much about him.
JK: Okay. What do you know?
Me: Four things. 1. He wears funky socks. 2. He has three kids. 3. He walks fast. 4. He brings his lunch and eats it out of Tupperware.
JK: Okay then get him socks. Just nothing too overboard. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable.
Me: YOU’RE RIGHT! Nothing overboard. Like, just keep it to argyle.
JK: No, I meant quantity. Like, don’t get him 50 pairs of socks because you like him so much.
Me: OH. I thought you meant style.
JK: There aren’t many sock styles that could give the wrong impression.
Me: YOU NEVER KNOW. There have to be socks filled with condoms somewhere.
JK: Perhaps you should go with the Tupperware idea.
Me: Yeah.
JK: No, I’m kidding. Come on. Socks are good because you can say “I always notice your cool socks” so it won’t be out of nowhere.
Me: Right.
JK: Whereas, if you get him Tupperware, you’d have to say “I always notice you eating” which sounds creepy and stalkerish.
Me: Or like I think he has an eating disorder.
JK: Right.
Me: Christmas is hard, man.
JK: That’s why I’m a Jew.
Fin.
Hilarious. This just made my afternoon.
I name my socks. That way I can accurately say that I possess Moxy and Sweet Moves.
Um, JK clearly forgot about the dangers of “Mysterious Menorah” gift-selection.
Also, did you know your blog does not believe in daylight saving time? Perhaps it is a farmer?
Rachel - My blog is a farmer. And yes, the daylight savings thing. I could probably fix it. BUT THAT WOULD TAKE EFFORT.
Today I’m wearing Clairvoyance and Pizzazz.