So! A little over a month ago, my cousin Christine got married in Massachusetts. It was the most lovely wedding and I was correct in assuming she would be a beautiful bride. Like, GAWGEOUS. I’d been meaning to put together some photos from it but in six weeks, had only managed to put about half up on flickr. Then I got distracted by something bright and shiny.

SELF, I thought. WAIT! THERE ARE SO MANY MAGICAL PHOTOS! YOU SHOULD MAKE A VIDEO OF ALL THE PHOTOS! PHOTO MONTAGE! SET TO MUSIC! IT’LL ROCK! I envisioned a glorious and tender video clip full of pictures set to “Wind Beneath My Wings”. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Yeah. The thing is that it’s a great idea until you sit down to do it and then iMovie keeps freezing and shutting down and you forgot to save the latest version and why is it coming out blurry? and you realize you left out a few pictures of certain people and are they going to get offended and it sort of has to flow with the music but the timing just isn’t working out and then you THROW YOUR COMPUTER OUT THE WINDOW and it kills a homeless person on the sidewalk below.

C’est la vie.

This is why, three months later, I still haven’t begun to touch the videos of me and Tom in Italy. I think I uploaded about three clips and then I was all, OKAY THAT IS ENOUGH.

BUT BUT BUT – Christine’s wedding was such an absolute blast and my very favorite people were there and how could I not make a PHOTO MONTAGE because we were all crazy on the dance floor for about seventy gazillion hours and wait, did we talk about this?

You know how at most weddings (most of my experience with weddings is in the NYC area so this could just be a regional thing), you show up to the reception and there’s a cocktail hour maybe and you drink wine and then you meander into the bigger room and you sit down and the DJ does that really annoying introducing thing like WEEEEEEEEEEEEEELCOME FOR THE FIRST TIME! MR. AND MRS. SOTOMAYOBLEWSKI!!!!!!!!!!!

(I hate that part.)

(Not as much as I hate the cake in the face or the garter. But I’m getting too involved in sharing my wedding opinions which, no one cares about. AM I RIGHT LADIES?)

Anyway! Then all the people come in and the bride and groom have a dance maybe (I cry during this part), then you sit down and eat something and then the maid of honor gives a speech and cries (YOU GUYZ ARE MEANT 2 B, I’VE NEVER MET TWO PEOPLE MORE DESTINED 2 B 2GETHER…) and then the best man gives a speech (REMEMBER THAT TIME DEREK GOT ALL DRUNK AT THAT FRAT PARTY?) and then you eat some more? And then maybe they put on some tunes, usually to get the old people dancing, a little LET’S TWIST AGAIN, LIKE WE DID LAST SUMMER or RUNAROUND SUE (my dad’s fave) and then you sit back down and eat some more and then maybe they play some disco (OHHHHH TOOT TOOT! YEAH! BEEP BEEP!) and then you eat some more and maybe spend the last hour or two dancing to some legit popular tunes that the bride shouldn’t be allowed to dance to (ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!).

Um. Okay. Is that about right? Is that in the ballpark? No? Just me?

ANYWAY.

Christine’s wedding went something like this:

- COCKTAIL HOUR – WINE WINE PLUS I HAD SOME WINE
- Meander into the big room HEYYYYYYYYY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, MR. AND MRS. YOU KNOW WHO!!!
- Maid of Honor speech that actually included something other than crying and I KNOW U GUYZ WILL BE SO HAPPY! It was good!
- Best man speech in the thickest Boston accent ever, leaving me completely bewildered because I understood NOTHING.
- EAT EAT EAT
- 17 Hours of Dancing
The End.

Seriously. We danced for one thousand hours. I felt like I was 22 again and staying out until 4 am in those crazy clubs in the Meatpacking District.

Oh, wait. I never did that.

But if I did, it would’ve felt like Christine’s wedding. And I mean that in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY because instead of gross Manhattanites, I was surrounded by my family – Christine and Tom and their four other insane siblings, MY insane siblings, one of who was extremely intoxicated due to lots of whiskey, aunts and uncles and friends and MY GOD YOU GUYS! IT WAS SUPER AMAZEBALLS.

I THROW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYING AY YO.

Which reminds me.

I love weddings. I do. I mean, I think they are great. And my favorite weddings are the weddings that are a perfect example of the two people getting married. You know what I mean by this? The little touches that make you say OH THAT IS SUCH A GARY THING TO DO…

Oh, Gary and his penchant for thoughtful wedding favors.

You get my drift though.

Christine and Scott’s wedding was a wedding like that. It was sophisticated and simple and meaningful and the music went on for three days.

I should’ve expected this because Christine has always loved music and dancing and I remember her Sweet 16, which happened back before MTV got involved and these parties were just becoming really popular and OH MAN were we on the dance floor for one million years dancing to such classics such as BOOM BOOM BOOM, LEMME HEAR YOU SAY WAY-OH – WAY OHHHHHHHHHHHH and BABY WHEN WE’RE GRINDING, I GET SO EXCITED…

Oh, the late 90′s. You are a time to cherish.

ANYWAY. I am getting SO OFF TOPIC HERE.

The point is that Christine loves to dance and so at her wedding, we danced and danced and danced until I could no longer feel my feet and I cannot remember having that much fun, really. Ever. So, weddings rule.

And to commemorate the experience, here is a video montage, sadly NOT set to “Wind Beneath My Weddings”. I know. You’re upset. Don’t worry. Maybe that’ll happen in the future.

Maybe I’ll make a video of me dancing with my father who’s in a wheelchair. It’ll involve me pushing him around in a circle on a dance floor, spinning while in a unitard, maybe twirling ribbons or a baton or two. JUST YOU WAIT. That video is gonna be sick. Perhaps I can start out with “Wind Beneath My Wings” and then as I jump into my dad’s arms in the wheelchair and we spin together, the music will segue into “Butterfly Kisses”.

You guys. I think that might just be gold.

IN THE MEAN TIME.

Here you go!

The craziest photo montage of the craziest cousins around!

Music by Vampire Weekend.

Congrats, Christiner Beaner! That wedding was MAD FUN and Boston accents still baffle me.

Cousins from The Spectrum on Vimeo.