I never know what to call these posts where I talk about nothing. I feel like they happen towards the beginning of the week. I ramble about my lunch. Or, like, my knee.

WHICH, FOR THE RECORD, THREE WEEKS LATER?

Is still busted.

Granted, I made it worse this weekend by attempting to wear high heels for the first time since I fell. MISTAKE. Then, just to make sure I was a complete idiot, I went for a 40 minute run on Sunday. Um. Yeah. My tendon is like OH NO YOU DIDN’T. But I did. And now it hurts. So I’m back to square one. And my mom is like YOU ARE A MORON.

I know, Rita. I know.

I find it interesting/horrifying/stupid that at 27.5 I had no idea, up until this moment, what it meant to be injured? I feel like it’s commonplace for someone to say, “Oh I twisted my ankle” or “I sprained my knee” and I’m like YEAH THAT SUCKS but always assume those things are minor and after a few days, you’re pretty much back to normal.

Um. It’s been THREE WEEKS.

And when I scream that out to anyone who listens, people are all, “Um. Yeah. It takes awhile for that stuff to heal.” And I rip all my hair out because WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? and NO ONE TOLD ME THIS STUFF and my GOD I really hate not being able to walk.

And then I go home and complain louder in front of my dad who’s been in a wheelchair for six months.

I am charming.

At the end of the summer, I took a musical improv class. I took it for the same reason I seem to do anything in my life – because it sort of intimidated me and also it seemed like fun. (See also: regular improv, Italian, yoga, dating an ex-convict, etc.) It was a really challenging class for lots of reasons but our final performance was a thing of magic as we improvised “Waffle House – The Musical”. The opening number is living somewhere privately on YouTube and no, you cannot have the link.

THAT’S NOT THE POINT. The point is, we took a class photo. This is a group of wonderfully funny people and we are all fairly attractive and talented individuals but mostly, I want to point out my muppet arm proof.

Behold, the muppet arm, stretched to capacity:

Dear Lord, woman.

It’s just not natural.

ANYWAY.

Are we all going to get involved with Candletime? I was reading Ask Moxie the other day, despite the fact that I have no children and do not need teething or sleeping or play date advice and she brought up Candletime and I was all THAT IS GENIUS.

Candletime is a new holiday that prevents Halloween from sliding straight into Christmas. It runs from November 1 to November 24 this year, and the way to celebrate it is by dimming the lights and lighting candles when you’re home in the evening, and enjoying a cup of tea or cider or cocoa or a glass of wine.

I almost feel like The Roommate and I have Candletime regularly as we are sort of like Carrie’s mom when it comes to lighting candles. Plus we like tea. And I like wine. BUT HEY. Now I have an official name for it. IT’S CANDLETIME, Y’ALL! Get involved.

God, what am I even talking about anymore? Candletime and my busted knee? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?

What I also want to know is, does anyone have a grandmother they call ‘Meemaw’?

And why is that the best name in the history of ever?

And how can I get people to call ME Meemaw even though I’m not from the South and I’m not a grandmother. How can I make this happen? Seriously you guys, let’s do this.

Which reminds me that last night, I had another pregnancy dream except Christopher Lloyd wasn’t there, NO HE WAS NOT. Way to abandon me, dude. But I was actually GIVING BIRTH in this dream and I DID and it was WEIRD but painless and the rest of the dream consisted of me forgetting all the baby names I liked and not knowing what to call them. (Because I had two, you see.) I think my mom suggested “Sarah” and I got so enraged that I threatened to disown her and was all I WILL TAKE YOUR GRANDCHILDREN AWAY.

Take that, Meemaw.

Wait. What?

You guys.

I swear I am sober. I just have a lot in my head. Plus I really like the name Sarah so I’m not sure why I got so angry about it.

ANYWAY.

What did you have for lunch today?

I brought leftover vegetable pizza that I made this weekend plus some pumpkin cookies. It was pretty much the best lunch I’ve ever eaten.

AND YOU!?