Deli Conundrum
You guys.
I have a super serious dilemma.
Help a sister out.
There’s a deli connected to my office building.
This makes it very convenient to run down and get a quick bite to eat without ever going outside which is pretty much what corporations want you to do – NEVER SEE THE SUNLIGHT.
But I digress.
I often run down to this deli a few times a week for breakfast and breakfast at this deli is SUPER CHEAP.
My issue is that since I’ve become a ‘regular’, one of the deli guys, Julio, catches sight of me the second I walk in the door and starts making my sandwich. Now this is great. I’m a big fan of being a regular. I love people that know how I like my coffee and what I like for breakfast and how they push me to the front of the line without me ever saying anything.
THAT’S GREAT.
What’s not great?
Julio is a terrible sandwich maker.
I mean, he destroys my breakfast every time.
But I can’t go to anyone else because the SECOND I WALK IN, Julio smiles and waves and begins making my sandwich.
My really terrible breakfast sandwich.
What do I do?
Do I tell Julio his sandwich-making sucks?
Do I go to another deli, out where the sun shines? (I would but this deli is SO CHEAP. My breakfast sandwich costs $1.50! COME ON NOW!)
Do I dress in disguise every day, attempting to attract the attention of the OTHER deli guys, the ones that make really good sandwiches?
Your help in this matter would be very much appreciated.
~Management
If there’s something specific that he’s doing wrong, just say, “Hey, Julio, could you make my sandwich like such-and-such? That’s how I like it. Thanks a bunch, hotlips.”
However, if it’s just a general suckiness, then I’m afraid you’re screwed. It’s not like you can say, “Hey, Julio, try not to suck so much.” Although I’m sure the way you would say it would be utterly charming.
I choose C – disguises. It is the most fun.
1. Have a friend go down and order your sandwich for you. Maybe your friend could sneer at Julio so Julio won’t like them and won’t make the sandwich.
2. Or after Julio starts making it, then ask another person to make another one “for a friend”. You’ll have to buy two but hopefully one of them will be right.
3. Try to remember that Julio is making your sandwich with love and then choke it down in appreciation.
4. Once you get the sandwich back to your desk, remake it the “right” way.
5. Realize that it’s not Julio’s fault but your Mom’s. If she hadn’t been such a good sandwich maker then the bar wouldn’t have been set so high for poor Julio.
6. Order something different every day so Julio doesn’t know which way is up and when you go back to what you want to order Julio won’t be so eager because he can’t be sure if you will throw him a curve ball.
7. Julio seems super eager. Ask him to do one thing differently. Then when that gets done, ask for another. Make sure to smile a lot and be really friendly and I bet he would be SO happy to make you HAPPY!!
Curious minds and all…what the heck can be done to a sandwich to mess it up so badly?! Is he putting pastrami on your vegetarian sandwich?!
Disguise – fake handlebar mustache, monocle and speak in a thick Austrian accent. Julio will never expect it to be you.
You guys are amazing. I mean seriously amazing. And also, GreenInOC, HILARIOUS AND BRILLIANT OPTIONS.
Your blog has managed to distract me from my enthralling and very important job pretty much all day. So… thanks for that.
The world may not thank you, however, when it comes to an end, due to my lack of activity.
Great meeting you yesterday.
Chris – You mean that super important amazingly integral role you play at your VERY GRATIFYING AND REWARDING COMPANY?
It was so great to meet you! I’ve been thinking of random tenement facts all day. JUST AS AN FYI.