Hey peeps!

What are you doing this weekend?

I’m having Alayna over for dinner tonight, going to pilates tomorrow, having brunch with JK, scrubbing my toilet, taking a nap, babysitting the twins who I don’t get to see much anymore (Owen will likely kick my ass at Wii bowling) and then I’ll be home on Long Island on Sunday to see my dad.

Fun times, right?

Speaking of which, my dad had a consult with Dr. Best Urologist In NYC the other day and they scheduled a laser surgery for him at the end of September. After he recovers from that, Dr. B-U-I-NYC will okay him for his final hip surgery which we are all excited about because THEN HE CAN WALK AGAIN MAYBE? Poor papa has been in a wheelchair since April.

(Also, would it not be incredible if I called my dad “papa” in a legitimate kind of way? Sort of Fiddler on the Roof style? ANYONE? Sunrise! Sunset!)

I called yesterday to ask him about the surgery they’re doing on his…peeing parts.

Dad: LAWRA.

Me: Hey, dad. How’d the consult with the urologist go?

Dad: I MET DA SURGEON AND I’M GONNA HAVE TO GO GET LASERED.

Me: Wow! Why?

Dad: GUESS WHAT? TURNS OUT WHEN I PEE? I ONLY EMPTY HALF MY BLADDA.

Me: Half your bladder? Yikes. How long has this been going on?

Dad: PROBABLY A LONG TIME. I KNEW SOMETHIN’ WAS GOIN’ ON BUT I JUST PUT UP WITH IT.

Me: Why do you do that?! Holy shit.

Dad: IT’S ALL GONNA BE OKAY WHEN THEY LASER ME AND OPEN UP MY, UH, URETHRA THING.

Me: Ouch. So you’ll be able to pee fully then.

Dad: YEAH. ISN’T THAT EXCITIN’?

Me: Heck yeah it is! Emptying the whole bladder sounds like a dream.

Dad: I KNOW! AND DEN I GET A NEW HIP!!!!!!!!

Me: Well, that is freaking amazing.

Dad: I KNOW. PLUS 2ND AVENUE NEAR THE HOSPITAL HAS SO MANY GOOD RESTAURANTS.

Me: I…what?

Dad: WHAT? I JUST LIKE GOIN’ TO THE DOCTA NOW BECAUSE I GET TO EAT ALL DIS GOOD FOOD.

Me: New York City is amazing that way.

Dad: I KNOW. SOME DAY I’M GONNA BE ABLE TO EAT SOMEWHERE AND SIT IN A REAL CHAIR LIKE A REAL PERSON.

Me: You’re a real person now, dad.

Dad: YEAH. BUT I ONLY PEE HALFWAY.

Me: Truth.

AAAAAAAAAAND SCENE.

So, that is what is up with Papa. PAPA D, YO!

His surgery is in two weeks and hopefully it’ll go off without a hitch. They’re keeping him overnight which isn’t customary but the NYC doctors seem to want to take every precaution possible due to his history of deadly infections that almost killed him that one time. OH YEAH REMEMBER THAT?

Anyway, here’s to a wonderful weekend. The temperature here in NYC dropped significantly and it feels like fall is finally settling in which makes me happy because I love pumpkins and candy corn but mostly candy corn. Also, this is my favorite picture taken at the wedding this past weekend even though we’re not all in focus. THERE’S A METAPHOR IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

These are my siblings.

Dear Mom and “Half My Bladda” Dad – You make good babies. Nice work.

Love,
Laura

PS. That’s probably the 2nd time in my life I’ve seen my brother Paul in a suit. I think he looks rather dashing, don’t you?