Long before I knew there would be a wedding in Italy and that Tom and I would both get an invite and attend, I scribbled an item on my Mondo Beyondo list (#28) and forgot about it. My initial reactions to Italy after first going there in 2008 were “THIS PLACE RULES OMG YOU GUYS” and “TOM WOULD LIKE THIS A WHOLE LOT”. I knew Tom would like Italy because in Italy, you eat a lot. And drink lots of wine. And gelato is plentiful. And Tom likes all these things.

“Eat pasta and drink wine with Tom…” was not so much about literally eating the pasta and drinking the wine but sharing the Italian experience with my cousin, my bestest friend in all the land. It was more about taking a trip, quality time, enjoying something new together. We rarely get to do this because he lives in Los Angeles and I live in NYC and I see him about twice a year and cue: SAD FACE. I figured something like Italy would happen eventually but I didn’t know when and because it didn’t seem that urgent to me, I didn’t make a plan or take any steps to make it happen.

And then, lo and behold, it just…sort of happened.

Mondo Beyondo is magic, y’all.

There was an engagement and a wedding and our cousin sent out invitations and it was “I’m going, are you?” “We should!” “Okay, but for real!” “FOR REAL ARE WE DOING THIS?” “YES FOR REAL OKAY!”

There were frantic e-mails back and forth and airline price watching and suddenly, we were in Italy! And every single evening for twelve days straight, we clinked our wine glasses at a sidewalk café, laughing hysterically over the awkwardness that was Every Single Person Thinking We Were Romantic Partners and then much crying into our food after those long exhausting talks that best friends have after so many months apart. Especially best friends who are also cousins who have a very long history. Careers and relationships and inside jokes and family problems and are you going to finish that? because I’m still hungry…

And of course, it wasn’t just about the wine and the food.

(Okay, it was sort of just about the wine and the food.)

BUT REALLY. It was about all those spontaeous, random things that happen when you travel. Things that I don’t necessarily handle very well because I’m sort of attached to KNOWING WHAT IS HAPPENING AT ALL TIMES. But when I’m able to let this go and relinquish control, I very much like those moments that I didn’t expect. The things I did that I never set out to do in the first place.

Like, kick Tom’s ass in checkers at a park.

Or go to the aquarium in Genoa and die laughing over the girl who kept making her boyfriend take model pictures of her in front of every fish tank. We followed suit, naturally.

Also, Tom is creative with fruit!

Also, we were the only two single people at that wedding! True story! Here is our SAD FACE + WINE + I think that’s saffron risotto omg:

Anyway.

Italy happened. (And Switzerland happened as a bonus!) And I forgot all about the fact that an item on my Mondo Beyondo list was actually coming true until a few days into our trip when we found ourselves in a small town called Nervi, a couple of train stops out of Genoa.

You see, one of the mistakes I made awesome things I did while planning our trip was to scope out the NY Times travel section in the name of research and inspiration. I found a great feature for almost every city we were traveling to called “36 Hours In…[NAME OF CITY]. It was a lovely list of non-touristy, out of the way things to do that you could accomplish in about 36 hours. (If you hauled ass.) The items were really good though – places to eat and what to order, museums to check out, where to find the best of everything.

Tom went ballistic over these lists. I mean, clutched those printed out lists while running around Italy like his life DEPENDED ON IT. And part of me was like OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS? as I tried to pry the list from his clenched fists and the other part of me was like I SECRETLY LOVE THIS because, come on, it is coolness to not be such an American tourist with a fanny pack eating at a restaurant next to the Colosseum, you feel me?

Anyway, on our Genoa list, there was a gelateria listed, owned by a 23 year old named Rosa, who is now Tom’s Facebook friend. We got to talking while eating some DAMN GOOD gelato (I had dairy-free chocolate, made with apple juice instead of milk, WHAT? Rosa. You rock my world.) and Rosa was so! excited! to talk to New Yorkers! in English! She went on and on about all the fun stuff to do in Genoa and we were all, Rosa, this is super sad but we leave tomorrow and WHY DIDN’T WE COME HANG OUT WITH YOU SOONER?

But Rosa was not to be deterred and told us that even though it was 5 pm on our last day in town, we should hop the train to Nervi and go jump in the Mediterranean Sea. And I was all WHAT? THAT IS CRAZY. And Tom was all, THAT ISN’T ON MY LIST!? And Rosa was all, it is a super great town and you can jump off the rocks into the sea all night long and there are delicious restaurants on the coast and my friend owns a pizzeria! You should go! And tell him Rosa sent you!

Tom and I walked back to find my sister and her boyfriend and were sort of like, “Um. You guys want to go swimming?”

There was a pause as we all mulled it over.

It was already past six.

And we had to leave the next day.

And it was sort of random and I don’t know…

AND YES, OKAY, LET US SWIM AND EAT THE PIZZA!

And so we did.

We put on our suits, grabbed towels, got on a train and went to climb down the rocks in Nervi, all the way to the sea.

The water was warm and salty and went on forever. The sun was setting as we swam and I remember just floating there at one point, the water covering my ears so everything sounded muffled, staring up at this blue sky, thinking it might be quite alright if this was my last day on earth because oh, perfection, I have found you.

Later, we walked up to Rosa’s friend’s pizzeria and indulged in some of the best wine of the whole trip. We were all laughing about something ridiculous when it hit me – that I was eating and drinking with Tom! At a table on the sidewalk in Italy! And I was all YOU GUYS! MONDO BEYONDO! And then I maybe started crying a little bit and my sister took our picture before I got too out of control.

And then I stopped crying and concentrated on my pizza and finishing the white sparkling wine and then it was all gone and SAD FACE.

The trip to Italy was overwhelming for me sometimes because it was so much goodness in light of so much recent negativity. The health issues with my father, the lack of career momentum, the fact that I am alone, romantically. It was as if, on that trip, everything was alright. My relationship with my sister deepened and intensified, I was relaxed and well fed and wandering around ITALY, and geeeeeeeez. Thankfully, as an added bonus, my friendship with Tom made me realize over and over, every day, how lucky I am to have that one person who understands me on a level that many people don’t.

That person who I’ve known since the day he was born. That person who I can communicate so much with, even silently, without much effort at all. Stupid jokes and model poses and jazz hands and cheers, drink up! And pasta and you’ve GOT to try this and this is the best day of my entire life. There’s something really magical about having such a person. The person who, when they’re around, makes you feel a lot less alone and never lonely. Makes you feel like no matter what happens, you’ve got unspoken understanding and constant unconditional compassion and in this big huge world of oceans and planes and plates of pasta, we have each other and everything is going to be alright.

That is what making my Mondo Beyondo list has been about, ultimately: forming and maintaining connections to other people and other experiences and being present enough to realize how awesome they are, as they are happening. Remembering not to rush toward the next city but to stay present in the one you’re in and to take that risk and even though you don’t know how cold the water might be, to jump in. Go ahead. It’ll be fine.

We’re okay.

You and me.

The world is so much bigger than we think and so much smaller, too. And regardless of monetary wealth and career success and long-term relationship status, how fortunate to have people in your life who will sit in the passenger seat as you drive and tell you a story and sing you a song. Or who simply take over for you when you get too tired and can’t see the road anymore.

So, yeah, okay. Let’s raise a glass to #28. Food and drink with my very favorite person. On a spontaneous trip to the sea, on a very warm July night in Italy. Thank you, Tom, for the dreams you encourage me to keep dreaming and for videotaping me jumping into the Mediterranean like a muppet.

xo,
Loo

 

Swim In Nervi from The Spectrum on Vimeo.