On the way here, we stopped in Pisa to take ridiculous pictures of ourselves holding up the Leaning Tower. We also climbed its 294 steps. In 93 degree heat. I don’t recommend this. But I also don’t regret it. That Leaning Tower LEANS, y’all.

Also, I have the most incredible video of Tom while he climbs up the steps inside the tower. At one point, he is singing “Annie” out one of the windows (MAYBE FAR AWAYYYY OR MAYBE REAL NEARBYYYY) and then he does Mission Impossible, hiding among the marble, then he tells Harry Potter that Professor Snape is just head, HURRY ‘ARRY! And he finishes off with a lovely rendition of “God Help The Outcasts” from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

My life, you guys. This is my life.

Stopping in Pisa was a brilliant idea but stopping in Pisa without a place to dump our backpacks (except the AMAZINGLY FREE Leaning Tower baggage check) was a BAD IDEA. After about 10 minutes of stomping through the blazing sun with all our luggage, Tom and I were all STOP THIS TRAIN and sat ourselves at the nearest air conditioned restaurant for a two-course lunch. We split a bottle of white wine, had salads, pasta and dessert and then declared ourselves perfectly fine to continue our journey to the train station.

Sometimes all you need is a ridiculously extravagant Pisan lunch that only costs you 50 Euros. YOU FEEL ME?

Also, I have to call RIDICULOUS on all those people that told me that Pisa was sort of a waste of time, that we didn’t need to spend more than an afternoon there because the Leaning Tower is all there is and blah dee blah.

Um. What? Who ARE you people and why are you trying to ruin my life?

I found Pisa to be the cutest little town with lots of fun shopping, delicious food and tons and tons of super hot Italian guys who attend the local university. Next time, I plan on spending months of my life in Pisa so I can hold up the Leaning Tower every day and so I can find a husband.

ANYWAY.

Italy is hot in the summer, you guys. And Florence is a mad house of tourists, something that I never had to deal with when I came here two years ago in May. AND OH DID I MENTION HOW HOT IT IS? The sun is an intense angry ball of flames and for some reason, feels way more intense than the sun in New York City, particularly around 5 pm when it should be getting cooler. Italy’s sun just gets more and more angry as the day goes on so by 6:00 you’re on your knees in a piazza begging God to forgive your sins. And before you point out that it’s the SAME SUN in New York and Italy, I just want to tell you that you’re wrong. It’s different.

The food I’ve been eating makes up for all the sweating I’ve been doing. Tom and I just cannot stop eating and I feel like that’s okay. My vegetarian self has been doing very well here (I actually found cannellini bean hummus last night. WHAT THE MAGICAL MAGIC IS GOING ON?) but I have indulged in seafood twice so far with no regrets. I cannot bring myself to try the meat, not even in Genoa though Tom did and talked about his salami sandwich for approximately three days until I was all SHUT UP THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO TALK ABOUT.

And he’s all, No, there’s not.

And he’s right. So without further ado:

Food I’ve had thus far
by Laura Elizabeth, age 27.3

Gnocchi al pesto
Rigatoni with eggplant, olives, cherry tomatoes
Cannellini Bean hummus
Chickpea, olive, pecorino cheese salad
Pizza with artichokes
Pizza with arugula
Pizza with olives
bread, bread, bread
Croissants
Warm croissants with ricotta cheese in the middle and chocolate on top
Dairy-free chocolate gelato
Dairy-filled white chocolate gelato
Lots and lots of watermelon
One iced espresso that made me believe in God

Stuff Tom Has Eaten:
Everything above because he can’t keep his hands off my food

Plus:

A steak salad with arugula
Authentic salami sandwich in Genoa
Tagiatelle with rabbit
Ten times more gelato than me

Someone explain to me why my cousin weighs about 100 pounds. HE EATS LIKE A SUMO WRESTLER. Then again, so do I. We tell ourselves it’s okay because we walk everywhere! We’re walking! Right? EXERCISE! Plus we keep sweating! Sweating out those calories! YEAH!

Sigh.

And now we are in Florence.

I came to an internet cafe to attempt to call home but then realized it’s 6 am in New York. I’m sure my mom would love hear from me. But not at 6 am. So I am blogging while Tom and my sister hit up the Santa Croce church where Michelangelo is buried along with Galileo, Machiavelli, etc. It’s pretty awesome so I pushed them into going while I snuck away to wander the streets of Florence alone.

And then blogged.

??

God, I’m lame.

Okay! That’s the update! We have another two days in Florence and then on to Rome for a crazy Roman wedding extravaganza. Should be good freaking times.

And now it’s about noon which means it’s time for gelato. And then lunch. And then wine. And then a lovely passegiata around the Ufizzi Gallery. Alayna and I were there two years ago and I’ve been dreaming of those Botticelli paintings ever since so I plan on spending the blazing hot afternoon hours just gazing at the beauty.

BEST DAY OF MAH LIFE.

Now if only Tom would stop eating all my food.

HANDS OFF, JERK.