You guys!

Some notable things happened over the past few days. Namely, last night, I was doing tequila shots for no reason at all and this morning I found a deer tick embedded in my thigh when I got out of the shower.

These things are not related.

Wait.

Are they?

Regardless, there was one other notable thing that happened this weekend.

My bestie Alayna and her boyfriend TSR got ENGAGED!!!

Like, to be married, y’all!

Life is crazy, am I right? One second, Alayna and I are eating pasta and drinking wine and mourning our single selves and then she meets a 6’5 dude named freaking RAVEN and he’s all knight in shining armor with a sharp quick wit and an undying effort to make her the happiest girl on Earth and I’m all YOU GUYS HAVE FUN! I’LL BE OVER HERE KNITTING BLANKETS FOR YOUR FUTURE BABIES!

I have to tell you about this engagement story because 1. It is the cutest thing of my life and B. I don’t want to think about the fact that I woke up with this tick in my thigh and now probably have Lyme Disease. Also, can you believe the little bugger was on my thigh? PERVERT.

So, Raven tells me that he’s whisking Alayna away for a surprise weekend upstate and asks me to cover for him by making fake plans with her for Friday night. (He did the same thing WITH HER BOSS. As in, her boss was all, MAKE SURE YOU COME INTO WORK ON FRIDAY! knowing full well that Alayna would not be doing anything of the sort.) All week, Alayna was like CAN’T WAIT FOR DINNER ON FRIDAY! WHERE SHOULD WE GO!? And I would text Raven and be all BWA HA HA YOUR PLAN IS WORKING! YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS DUMB!

Sure enough, Friday morning I got some BBM’s from Alayna:

“Um! I’m in a car! But I don’t know where I’m going! So I can’t hang out tonight! But Raven says you knew that!?”

SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!

I have to hand it to Raven because if I were Alayna, I would’ve been immediately suspicious of A SURPRISE WEEKEND AWAY FULL OF SURPRISES WHICH ARE ALL A SURPRISE! But Raven cleverly used the excuse of her birthday which had been the weekend before so every sweet gesture had the guise of BUT IT’S FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY! Genius. Also, they headed upstate to visit her two roommates who were performing in a show. So it was like OH! BIRTHDAY SURPRISE! WE’RE VISITING YOUR FRIENDS!

I’m not going to get the details of what happened on Saturday exactly right because I wasn’t there. I was on Fire Island in a rainstorm getting ticks. BUT THE POINT IS: Raven basically had the entire town in on his engagement plan. Everyone knew. Except Alayna. Because, BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!

She ends up getting index cards throughout the day with CLUES ON THEM written in LIMERICK FORMAT sending her on a scavenger hunt of sorts. She was instructed to go to the coffee shop to meet her roommate, he gave her the next card sending her to the winery, the woman there gave her the next card sending her to an ice cream shop, etc. And she finally ends up in this glen near a waterfall where Raven is waiting with his great-grandmother’s one carat diamond ring asking to love her until the end of time.

I’m going to pause this story so we can all wipe our eyes because THAT IS LOVE, PEOPLE but also because I want to point out that when she called me later, shrieking and crying, she definitely used the word “glen” and I was like what the hell? Who even USES that anymore? And then I got a ridiculous image of Alayna and Raven getting engaged under a waterfall with a ton of little leprechauns jumping about but that is just because my imagination is vivid.

AND IF IT’S A GLEN, THEN SO BE IT.

In summation, Raven decided he liked it and he better put a ring on it, so he did.

When Alayna told me she was engaged, I screamed a little bit but I wasn’t actually surprised. I think this is because as soon as they met, Alayna and Raven were sort of joined at the hip and it seemed like it always was that way and always should be that way. So, if you’re gonna throw marriage on the table, I’m all YEAH DUDE WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG? DIDN’T THAT ALREADY HAPPEN!?

But it didn’t.

BUT NOW IT WILL.

And I kept my tears in check until the following day when Alayna asked me over the phone to be her maid of honor.

I’m sorry.

What?

Me???

I’ve never been a maid of honor before.

I’ve never even been a bridesmaid actually since my brother and his wife didn’t have a wedding party when they got married.

Alayna said something poetic like, I can’t think of another person I want standing up there next to me and then! THEN MY TEARS GUSHED LIKE THE WATER IN THE WATERFALL IN THE GLEN! Because blimey, I’m going to be a maid of honor? And get to wear a pretty dress and stand next to Alayna while she promises to love Raven for the rest of her life?

I AM THE LUCKIEST PERSON EVER?

Except Alayna’s not because I’m going to be bawling my eyes out and my sister said that’s okay, just make sure I do it quietly so as not to distract from the ceremony. I’m going to have to start practicing now.

I hung up with her shortly after that and went for a lovely morning walk. The sky was really bright from the rain the previous day and the clouds were fluffy and I was still crying. Tears pouring down my face because I am slightly insane and was sort of sleep deprived and HOLY COW YOU GUYS! My best friend is getting MARRIED!!!

And that proposal…

I mean HONESTLY? Limericks!? And clues? And getting a whole small town in on your secret surprise plan?

Do you know what that is?

THAT’S SO RAVEN.

I had to, you guys, I had to.

I couldn’t be more excited for them as I love them both so very, very much.

My dearest Alayna,

Remember when you used to wonder if you’d ever find someone to be with?

Remember how you rarely stressed about it and instead, just lived your life and found joy and beauty in all that you did, by yourself, and grew into this marvelously independent, interesting, beautiful person?

And remember how so unexpectedly, someone showed up who fell in love with that perfectly unique, wonderful you?

And how that person simply encouraged you to continue to be the perfect person you are?

That was kind of awesome.

And so inspiring.

From where I’m standing, next to you always, you help me believe that love is real.