Mom: Hey Laura, do any of those roses in the vase have thorns?
Me: Um, actually no, it looks like most of the thorns were taken off. Why?
Mom: Oh, I wanted to bring one to youth group tonight. We’re doing the stations of the cross.
Me: Oh. Hmm. OH! How about this one? It has little tiny thorns…sort of?
Mom: *inspecting the rose* No. Nope, that’s not good at all. I need one that’s actually going to draw blood.
Me: WHAT KIND OF YOUTH GROUP IS THIS!?!?