*we are coloring in his room*

River: UGH. What is that sound?

Me: Someone’s playing music in the living room.

River: I do not like that music!

Me: Oh! I do! I think it sounds nice.

River: It’s not nice. It is MAKING ME SO ANNOYING.

…

Owen: Do you know what I’m going to be when I grow up?

Me: I have no idea. Please tell me.

Owen: I am going to be an ice skater. And a rockstar.

Me: WHAT AN AWESOME IDEA.

Owen: I know.

River: Do you know what *I’m* going to be?

Me: No! Please tell me!

River: I am going to be a skiier and an artist and…

Me: A rockstar?

River: NO! BETTER!

Me: WHAT?

River: A LAWYER.

Me: A skiier, an artist and a lawyer?

River: Yes.

Me: Do you know what a lawyer does?

River: Yes! Lawyers help people!

Me: They do??

River: YES THAT’S WHY I’M GOING TO BE ONE.

Me: Oh my God. I wish I was five again.

…

Owen: Laura, I love you more than anything.

Me: I love you too.

Owen: I love mommy more than anything. And daddy more than anything.

Me: And River?

*pause*

Owen: I love River less than anything.

Me: Oh! That isn’t nice! You’re a family! So you love each other!

Owen: I love mommy and daddy more.

Me: Okay, sure.

Owen: I love my grandpa more than anything.

Me: Oh! That’s so great.

Owen: But not grandma.

Me: Oh! Why don’t you love your grandma!?

Owen: OH because grandma just TALKS AND TALKS AND TALKS AND TALKS…

…

Owen:  Daddy, I ate all my lunch today.

Owen’s dad: Really?

Owen: YEAH! I ate both my quesadillas.

Owen’s dad: You did!?

Owen: YEAH!

Owen’s dad: Owen, is that true?

*pause*

Owen: Um. It’s false.