On Saturday afternoon, at the height of the first big snowstorm of the year, I trekked out of my warm apartment to babysit Owen and River.

As far as personalities go, the twins are at opposite ends of the spectrum. (THE SPECTRUM. LIKE MY BLOG. GET IT?)

Owen sort of exists in his own little world. He is extremely independent, prefers to play on his own, likes to play quietly, writing stories, reading books, etc. He operates on an even keel for the most part. River is far more rambunctious. He is more emotional, a little needier and also more likely to break rules on purpose, to push your buttons just to drive you crazy and just when you’re about to scream, he’s the one to curl up into your lap and tell you how much he loves you. KIDS ARE SNEAKY LITTLE THINGS, I AM TELLING YOU.

We decided to make sugar cookies on Saturday afternoon as the snow was falling pretty hard and they wanted nothing to do with the cold weather outside. Owen sat politely at the kitchen table and I put him in charge of reading the ingredients out loud to me. River was standing on his chair, playing with everything in sight—the bowl, the cookie cutters, the eggs, the little bottles of food coloring, all of it.

“Owen!” I said. “Please read the ingredients for the icing!”

“TWO LARGE EGG WHITES,” read Owen.

“Okay, boys! Remember how we crack the eggs in the bowl when we make brownies? This is going to be a little different. We only need the egg WHITES so we need to separate them. This means you’re going to need my help and you need to be a little patient.”

“OKAY,” said Owen.

“OKAY,” said River. “THIS MEANS NO YOLK.”

“RIGHT.”

I turned away to wipe my hands on a dish towel when I heard a crack.

“LAURA DLUG,” cried River. “THERE IS EGG ON ME.”

I turned to see an egg broken on the kitchen table, oozing onto the floor and down River’s pant leg.

“Riv! What did I say about being patient?”

“UM. THE EGG IS CRAWLING TO MY SOCK.”

“RIVER. YOU NEED TO WAIT FOR ME TO BREAK THE EGG.”

“I FORGOT. I LOVE EGGS.”

I cleaned him up and we started over. I sat between them and showed them how to separate the egg yolk from the white. Success!

“Owen, can you read the next item?”

“YES. ‘Three cups conf…con…comforter powdered sugar?”

“Confectioner’s sugar! That’s a tough one. Good guess!”

We dumped three cups of comforter sugar into the bowl, added some lemon juice and beat that baby until it became the most deliciously smooth sugar cookie icing that was ever created.

Our next step was to separate the icing into bowls and dye it different colors.

“Do not open that bottle of dye until I say so,” I warned. “It stains.”

“OKAY!” said Owen.

“OKAY!” said River.

“River,” I said sternly. “Do NOT open the dye. It STAINS.”

“OKAY, LAURA!” shouted River.

I turned to get the baked cookies off the stove and onto wax paper for decorating.

“LAURA DLUG!” cried River. “HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

I turned just in time to see bright purple food dye sliding down River’s arm and wrist and also dribbling out of his mouth.

“RIVER! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE DYE?!”

“THAT IT STAINS.”

“Yes! I said not to open it!”

“IT IS ALL OVER ME!”

“I KNOW!”

And this is when I dissolved into laughter that I could not for the life of me stop. I asked River if he put the bottle of food coloring in his mouth.

He solemnly answered, “No.”

I asked him to smile.

He did, revealing bright purple zombie-esque teeth and gums.

I laughed harder. I clutched the table and laughed until tears poured out of my eyes.

“LAURA DLUG. DO NOT LAUGH AT ME. I WANT IT OUT OF MY MOUTH.”

“Okay, River. I’m sorry. It’s just…you look very silly right now. And…you DID put that in your mouth, didn’t you?”

“Um. Yes.”

“Fair enough. Let’s go brush your teeth.”

And that is why one of River’s toothbrushes is currently stained bright purple and there are faint lavender stains on the bathtub and the toilet seat, the kitchen table and countless paper towels. I tried to get as much off him as I could but as I warned him, that stuff STAINS.

He did provide me with a hearty laugh and a realization that no matter how many times you say it, no matter how many times you warn them, kids are going to do what they want to do, unable to bite back their curiosity. Perhaps this is one of my favorite things about them. That and the fact that after they went to bed, I ate about four sugar cookies while sitting on the couch with a cup of tea as the snowstorm pummeled the windows and I stared at the Christmas tree, thankful this year to have Owen and River as my faithful weekend sidekicks.