Confession: I don’t particularly enjoy looking at pictures of myself.

Probably because I immediately focus on my flaws.

There will be a perfectly happy smiley picture of myself and my first reaction is UGH! Shiny forehead! Flabby triceps! Ugly shirt!

Fun stuff. Lemme tell you.

In a weird way, I must confess that I enjoy POSING for pictures. I like smiling or pointing to something I think is HILARIOUS or making a stupid face for the camera. I ADORE that. I just don’t necessarily like LOOKING at the pictures after they’ve been taken. The invention of the digital camera was a CRUEL thing because if it was up to me, I’d scroll through and delete almost all of the pictures ever taken of myself. And then I wouldn’t have any photographic documentation of my life AT ALL.

It could be Reason #10981350 why I don’t have a Facebook account because then there would be pictures of me ALL OVER THE INTERNET that other people have taken from some party I don’t remember going to. And they would tag me on my wall or comment me and accept my friend request or something, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW FACEBOOK WORKS. BUT IT WOULD HAPPEN. AND IT WOULD BE BAD.

Anyway.

Um.

I decided that in 2010, I would like to do many things. Things like travel through Europe and land some legit representation for my acting career but I also would like to be kinder to myself. And this involves looking at pictures of myself and being happy about them and fixating on the AWESOME TIME I had in the photo with my AWESOME FRIENDS instead of the fact that my arms are so long, omg they are muppet arms, OMG I AM A LIVING CARTOON!

Monday night I attended a Christmas party with all my friends from philosophy class. It was a most glorious evening and I wore bright red lipstick for no reason and ate baked ziti and laughed my butt off because oh, man, I love those people SO HARD. Alan and Sue sent me the pictures they took via e-mail today and as I was browsing through, I decided to shut up the negative voice in my head that wanted to know why I was having such a craptastic hair day.

Instead, I singled out this one. I looked at it and for the first time in awhile, thought I looked pretty. My hair is doing this fun swoopy thing over my shoulder, my smile doesn’t look like it’s taking up my entire face and I’m holding a wine glass. Not to mention, Lisa and Nancy are gorgeous in the background, making me smile every time I look at it. WHAT MORE DO I NEED?

So, here you go, grandchildren. Once upon a time, your Grandma cleaned up real nice. Now go fetch me my walker and the dentures in the glass next to my bed.

Lisa, Nancy, Laura age 26.75