RIP Lucky Snowflake Underwear. Plus! PCG Revealed!
It was no coincidence that yesterday, right after I put on my lucky snowflake underwear and realized they had a huge hole in them, my day spiraled very quickly from OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORRRRRRNIN’! to OH WHY DOES MY UTERUS HAAAAAAATE ME!? (c) Rodgers and Hammerstein.
The pain, you guys.
The pain was unbearable.
And yet I stupidly clung to my resolve for a little while, eschewing pain medication for over two hours, madly clutching my heating pad, doubled over at my desk before finally caving in and taking two Tylenol. Partly, I refuse to take medication because I am a crazy crunchy granola hippie who’s in tune with her body and shit. Partly, I refuse to take medication because along with the cramps, I am usually throwing up or extremely nauseated and I can’t keep the pills down regardless.
There’s also that tiny part of me that is SUPER SUPER stubborn and believes that breathing through cramps will one day help me conquer the pains of childbirth and when I die, I will get a gold star for every time I said no to the Aleve. It’s qualities like this that cause PCG to call me “mule” and when I exhibit this behavior, obnoxiously ornery behavior, to simply stare at me and then bray like a donkey.
POINT TAKEN.
As my mother says, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE? Stop being a martyr.
But moooooooooooom. Don’t you know I want to be considered for sainthood when I die? I think suffering through menstrual cramps every month totally qualifies me. No? Ask a priest. Guarantee you he agrees. ANYONE?
Speaking of which, sort of, do you know I recently read that women with a history of severe menstrual cramps DO NOT conquer labor easier like I stupidly thought? Do you know that they often feel more pain than other women? How does someone study something like that? Guarantee you they can’t. I mean, what did they do? Ask women in labor if it hurt a little or a lot? I WONDER WHAT ANSWER THEY GAVE. Stupid studies.
Once again, I’m rambling.
So, yeah, you guys.
My day was super bad.
I had to pass on morning workout plans (SUCKED), cancel lunch plans with my dad (BUMMER) and dinner plans with Alayna (DOUBLE BUMMER). I headed home after work with PCG and he was all CRAZYFACE, WHAT DO YOU NEED? and I was all baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathtuuuuuuuuuuuubb, hot as hell please, NO, HOTTER THAN THAT, I NEED IT SO HOT IT WILL BURN MY SKIN OFF. So I got into the tub and PCG put the cover down on the toilet, sat on it and read me an article from the newspaper about administrators in the city school district.
Then we had a discussion about autism.
Then we ordered a pizza.
And I realized that PCG can make any horrible day instantly better.
That as soon as I think I have him figured out, that he can’t possibly be THAT nice, a bath of hot water is running, a mug of hot cinnamon apple tea is in my hands and the heating pad is plugged in and sitting on the couch waiting for me.
Oh my God, dudes.
I have such a friggin’ crush on this guy. You have no idea.
I took this picture on one of our first dates to Japan the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Thought you might want to see the dimples for yourself.
That’s all for now.
DEAR PCG-
YOU ARE CUTE.
Love,
TheSpectrum & The Entire Internet
What a wonderfully sweet, CUTE guy! I’m so glad your happy (why is that?, I don’t even know you?) anyway…oh and we are on the same cycle although thankfully for me I am not quite as uteruslly challenged.
Jo – You’re so glad because YOU LOVE ME! I have bewitched you into liking and caring about me. ADMIT IT. Can you tell I’m PMS-ing still? I need love. I need attention. JO, NEVER LEAVE ME. (I HAVE NEVER MET YOU.)
Aw, what a cutie.
And I refuse to take meds, too, for pretty much anything. I get it.
Take ibuprofen. Tylenol will help with the pain, but ibuprofen prevents the release of the hormone prostaglandin that causes the menstrual cramps. Ibuprofen is the most effective prostaglandin inhibitor. Or something like that. Anyway, take it, Ms. Stubborn.
And, PCG is very cute. I’ve seen him with my own orbs.
Deanna – You are onto something. The Tylenol took the edge off but did not remove most of the pain. Proving my theory that Tylenol is useless. When I was eager for pain meds, strong stuff was my preference – Aleve, Excedrin Migraine, etc. Tylenol? FAIL.
Hey Laura!
I’ve been reading your blog for a month or so. It’s sooo awesome!!
But seriously, you are one strong fighter! Usually I cave in after 30 mins of cramps and pop some advil/aleve whichever is near me. And Tylenol never, ever works. A new fav thing to do, go for a walk and stretch afterwards. It also helps with cramps. Well, sometimes.
And…dear PCG, you truly ARE cute!!
DUUUUUUDDDEEEEEEE I MISS YOU AND YOUR WACKINESS!
Okay, speaking as someone who has spent a total of 43 hours in labor to deliver at home 2 children over 9 pounds (each), without pain medication, TAKE THE DAMN MEDS. It will not affect your ability to birth. Then when you’re pregnant, eat a well-rounded, whole-foods diet, walk every day, and get regular chiropractic and midwifery care. That will mean SO MUCH MORE than just suffering every month for no reason.
PLUS – keep that guy, he is awesome.
And WOW that is super cool info about the ibuprofen, btw.
My sister, who is my roommate and most favorite being on earth, is curled up like a big blue burrito with cramps on the couch right now. Tough stuff =( So, for you and her:
love love love! You’re wonderful! I hope you feel better very soon.
Ivan – What is this wackiness you speak of? I contain no such quality. SHUT UP. I MISS YOU TOO! Holler at me from Citi, yo!
Jen – Uh. I’m in love with you. For birthing two 9 pound kids at home and for telling me to take the damn meds. Seriously. IN LOVE.
Alex – Oh! Your poor sister!! “A big blue burrito” – HA HA HA! Poor thing. It sucks. I am MUCH better, thank you. Lucky for me, the pain only lasts a day or two!
Geez, louise, Laura! You’re living in the 21st Century. Take advantage of it. If a pill will help you endure your menstrual cramps, then take the damn pill. If some form of birth control pill will help mitigate the whole PMS deal that you suffer through every month, then at least give it a shot and see if it works for you. You can always stop it if you don’t like it, or try a different one or a milder one, or whatever. Who knows, maybe it’ll be great and you’ll wonder why the heck you didn’t do it sooner. I know you want to live au naturel, but women from hundreds and thousands of years ago did it because they didn’t have a choice. You do. If they could see you right now, they’d probably think you were crazy. Modern medicine isn’t the devil. Soy milk is.
Love,
Tim
Huh. Hadn’t bothered to read the other comments before posting my initial reply. Good to see Jen and I are on the same page re: medication and the damnation of said medication.