I broke up with the gym.

Partly because of convenience. At my old job, the gym was right up the street and I could often go during my lunch hour. At my new job? No gym in sight.

Partly because of financial reasons. When I started going to Bikram religiously in June, I realized that I could only afford one monthly payment—the yoga studio or the gym. Not both.

But can I tell you a secret?

Mostly?

I broke up with the gym because I hated going to the gym.

Don’t get me wrong—I love to work out. I love to do crazy weird things with weights and huge bouncy ball things and spinning classes that make me feel like I’m going to die. I like to hike! And take yoga that makes my eyelids sweat! I like running on the sidewalk of my neighborhood down to the park, love cruising past the water, love waving to the Manhattan skyline. I work out every day because I love it.

What I don’t love though? Running on a freaking treadmill.

And sadly, as much as I tried to change up my gym routine with weights and medicine balls and workouts ripped out of my fitness magazine, I always ended up running on the treadmill a few times a week when it was too cold to go outside.

And it sucked.

The treadmill, obviously, DOESN’T GO ANYWHERE.

And try as I might to fool myself with fun music! And cute workout clothes! The fact remained that I was running on a treadmill and I was bored out of my skull. Not to mention, when it warmed up in the spring? I was constantly outdoors running or doing a workout video in my living room to terrible 80′s music (JILLIAN MICHAELS, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME MY ABS BACK!) or eventually, stretching it out in a 110 degree yoga studio. And I realized I loved that a whole lot more than running and running and getting nowhere.

So, we broke up. My gym membership is on FREEZE which means I pay $15/month instead of $10529812465123098523infinity. This means all I need to do to go back is unfreeze it and I don’t have to pay all those stupid fees should I ever want to join back up again. I’m waiting to see if Bikram continues to be feasible as I get into the colder winter months. If it is, I might just break up with the gym for good.

It was also really interesting for me to look at WHY I was going to the gym to run on the stupid useless treadmill. Sometimes, I wanted an energy boost. But most of the time? I went out of obligation. I went because I felt fat. I went because I had a negative body image. And running and running and running on a treadmill didn’t help that, to be honest. Sometimes it made it worse.

I like running outside because it clears my head and gives me energy. I like to lift weights while listening to Pat Benatar because it’s fun for me to find out what my muscles are capable of doing, to realize that my back hurts less when I lift weights more, that I feel stronger the more I do it. I go to hot yoga because I like to push my body to new limits. I like to see if I can improve my flexibility, to see if I can hold a pose longer, if I can go further. At the end of every yoga class, the instructor asks us to bow and acknowledge our effort.

Me. My effort. No one else’s. I don’t have to worry about who’s running faster next to me or who looks skinnier in their shorts and t-shirt. I also don’t have to worry about that crazy lady who used to do these SUPER WEIRD boxing exercises that involved dragging herself around on all fours, all around the studio, which was FREAKING ODD and then became just plain annoying when she kept asking me to move out of her way WHAT ON EARTH? I PAY TO USE THIS GYM, TOO!!!!!

I got sidetracked.

The point is: I stick to an exercise routine when I enjoy it. I’m more likely to keep going with it when it’s exciting for me, when I’m having fun. And I get it: exercise rarely feels FUN! When I’m stretching like a freaking starfish in “STANDING BOW” pose, I kind of want to murder my instructor with a shiv. And at 6:30 in the morning, when I’m driving to get to class, OH BOY, I AM DEFINITELY NOT HAVING FUN AT THAT MOMENT.

But when it’s over?

Oh, my.

I sail out of that studio, high as a kite.

When I finish a three mile run, I bound eagerly up the steps to my apartment, ready to start the day.

I don’t need a gym to get that feeling.

I’ve found that in the past few months without it? I don’t miss it at all. And I’m still incredibly healthy, fit, energetic…

But more importantly?

I’m happy.

Sorry, gym.

It’s not you.

It’s me.

Best,
Laura