Cleansing
This morning, in Spectrum Land, I instituted a self-imposed ban on all toxic foods. THAT IS RIGHT. I am officially on a cleanse. Have no fear, I am not going back to the dreaded Lemonade Master Cleanse of Doom. (I feel like I will never get the willpower up to do that EVER AGAIN. Every time I think about it, I remind myself of how much I missed chewing and the idea goes out the window.)
If you’re interested at all in the details, I am currently cutting out:
added sugars
alcohol
animal products
caffeine
I wanted to add gluten to the list but then I realized I had these super delicious honey oat English muffins in the refrigerator and I WILL BE DAMNED if those go to waste. DAMNED I SAY. Perhaps gluten will be eliminated after the English muffins are eliminated by my digestive tract. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN’.
I’m also trying to buy more organic/local produce. A new health food store opened up in my neighborhood and I walked out of there the other night with about 10,000 pounds of organic fruits and veggies for about $18.
Dear New Health Food Store—
YOU ARE TRULY MAGICAL.
Yours most sincerely,
~Laura
The cleanse doesn’t really have to do with body image, even considering the last post I wrote. It’s more about how I’m feeling physically rather than how I look. Because, let’s be honest, thanks to Jillian, I look fierce. Please, help me forget that I just purchased two new Jillian DVD’s off amazon.com. OH GOD! THE PAIN! THE BURNING! I am about to get SCHOOLED y’all! But whatever. Bring it.
(Let’s NOT talk about the fact that along with the Jillian DVD’s, I somehow purchased a copy of “Italian for Dummies”. What? Why do I always place orders on amazon.com when I’m drunk?)
I AM GETTING OFF TOPIC.
Basically, my life got really busy and I got really lazy and it went a little like this: oh hey look! BROWNIES! CHEESE! And wait! MORE CHEESE! And cake! ooo I LOVE CAKE! And feta! YES! FETA! Swiss? Maybe swiss? And a cupcake? SWISS CHEESE *ON* A CUPCAKE!? YES!
Let’s be honest, you guys. My body? HATES DAIRY. And personally, when I stop and think about all the vegan literature I’ve read about dairy, I get disgusted with myself. Because dairy is gross.
However, the problem is that dairy is also FREAKING DELICIOUS. So, damn. How can I stay away!? I can’t.
But one piece of cheese turned into lots of pieces of cheese. And you know what goes good with cheese?
Wine.
And HEY LOOK! A baseball game is on! You know what would make this experience awesome? If we were drinking BEER. And possibly eating something fried…sweet potato fries!? AW YEAH.
And OH! Alayna! You know what sounds great right now!? COCONUT MOJITOS!!!!! WOOOOO!
And now, you have an accurate picture of how I spent the month of April. It’s not that I have been drinking excessively, it’s just that I’ve been drinking frequently. And I realize that most of New York City operates this way. But? I don’t. I am a lightweight. Alcohol makes me feel tired and clogged up and how can I properly allow Jillian Michaels to shred me when I feel lethargic? I CANNOT.
So, alcohol? It goes.
Same with the dairy. Though really that just means giving up the cheese as I still avoid milk and yogurt at all costs. My body can’t handle either one and I just read a recent article on how much pus is in cow’s milk and OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! Every time I see someone drinking it, I want to punch them in the face. I think I’d rather see someone eating steak than drinking milk. (And now, all of you milk-drinkers can punch ME in the face. YOU ARE WELCOME.)
Caffeine. Well. Hm. I’m not technically supposed to be drinking caffeine what with my delicate flower body that begins to shake uncontrollably after two cups. However, thanks to getting less sleep than usual thanks to my alcohol drinking, I’ve needed some caffeine to keep me awake during the day. A VICIOUS CYCLE, I AM TELLING YOU.
Caffeine? You are dead to me.
Added sugars – self-explanatory. No more cupcakes for now. SIGH.
And there you have it. We’ll see how long this lasts. I haven’t imposed a time limit for myself; I just need to give my body some time to recover. It’s spring time and I feel that this is an appropriate course of action for right now. Today went well, was really tired, recovering from a few late weekend nights but cruised on through and made some excellent food choices!
Day #1 is over. Phew. And now it is time for me to get all up in mah meditation and think about how to make the world a better place. And how to book a freaking acting job. And how to cure cancer. And then get in bed for hours and hours of cleansed sleep. BRING IT.
I love milk. I drink it FOR the pus, because I am that hardcore.
Wow. OWN THAT.
GOOD LUCK DUDE YOU ARE AWESOME.
I had a Jack & Coke at the concert. But am back on the alcohol-free kick until Friday. HARDCORE CLEANSE, COMIN’ AT YA.
Also, the only thing I read in this post was ‘coconut mojitos’. WHERE CAN I FIND THESE?
I’m so proud of you for sticking with your cleanse! I really think the first day is the hardest.
Well, good for you. I shall double my cheese and ice cream intake to make up for your cleansing period. It will be hard work, so please let me know when said cleanse is over. I wouldn’t want to eat double ice cream when I don’t absolutely need to.
But seriously… I want to know why there’s pus in milk. I’ve heard it a few times but have yet to do the actual research. Pus is a sign of infection, and made of dead white blood cells, live white blood cells, and dead bacteria. So my question would be: why are all these cows infected? Do they all have mastitis? And if so, shouldn’t their milk be dumped (thrown out) until they’re better? I used to date a cowboy and I clearly remember him dumping the milk of infected cows when they were on antibiotics, since he didn’t want that in the milk. However, that was a small operation and I guess the bigger ones are different.
Then again, milk is a biological fluid, and as such, I would expect it to have small levels of blood and pus in it, but not a large amount. I’m much more concerned about the hormones and antibiotics found in the industrially produced milk. I’m going to ask the girl I get milk from at the next farmer’s market about it, since I’d like to see some numbers for industrial vs. organic family farm milk. I guess the moral of the story is pasteurization is a good thing if enough cows have infections to have pus in the milk at high levels.
Okay, sorry for the rambling comment… but as you know I eat everything, um, I mean anything. I just like to be educated about it.
Just google “somatic cell count” and you’ll find all kinds of info. It’s a known and regulated milk quality factor.
Laurie – re: coconut mojito. Step 1. Move back to NYC. Step 2. Go to Vertigo, 26th and 3rd Ave. Step 3. Order coconut mojito. They also have mango.
Abbie – Try this as Tim suggested. Though, obviously, I think you’re fine because you buy local, etc. I’m honestly not sure who to believe…I realize sometimes the vegan movement/PETA/etc. take things to a ridiculous level. So, WHO EVEN KNOWS. I do find milk kind of icky but even I didn’t, my body is anti.
BEEN THERE.
DID NOT HAVE A COCONUT MOJITO.
REGRET IT.