I’ve been staring at the same blog post for about four consecutive days, trying to figure out how to write words and put them into a sentence and put those sentences into paragraphs. You know, blog or whatever. I can’t do it. I have no idea what I’m trying to say. I have no idea how to THINK straight. I end up looking at a word, deleting it, typing it over, deleting it, starting again, and ON AND ON AND ON.

I have a few videos I wanted to upload but then I thought WOW! Maybe I should edit them together like, make a VLOG and shit! And then I realized that takes a TON OF EFFORT and also that my laptop currently has about 1 MB left of space on it which makes everything run soooooooooooooooooo slowly and I DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THAT.

So I get really stressed out and this whole time I’m all,  I HAVE TO BLOG *SOMETHING* OR MY WORLD WILL FALL APART.

Guess what? My world is still here, functioning rather nicely except for that bitch called Daylight Savings Time.

I don’t know if it’s just that or a combination of that mixed with my lovely hormones but OH MY GOD I cannot get enough sleep. I went to bed at 10:30 last night and couldn’t get out of bed until almost 8:30.

WHAT. I HAVE A JOB. IT STARTS AT NINE AM.

Get the hell UP, Woman.

But I can’t. I feel really heavy and lethargic, slow-moving, kind of like a grizzly bear. THUMP THUMP to the bathroom, lumbering down the stairs, going through someone’s trash. You know? Just, no energy. None. Please someone, anyone, tell me where I can find some.

So, let’s just have a nice light blog post where we don’t have to form coherent sentences, where I can get away with updating you all on my life with as little thinking as possible.

HEY. Do you guys want to see some pictures?! OF COURSE YOU DO. The picture below was taken last week at my good buddy JK’s birthday party. Do you see me smiling like an idiot at nothing in particular AKA Me All The Time? AWESOME.

Let’s see this picture again with added commentary, courtesy of the very expensive graphic design program known as PAINT:

There were other pictures taken. Pictures where I try to hide my sheer excitement and zest for living and fail miserably.

ALAYNA: DO NOT BE SAD FOR I AM HERE TO CHEER YOU UP AND ALSO TO HANG ONTO YOU LIKE A MONKEY:

You can’t really tell from those pictures but I took my shoes off and walked around the party in my socks. It’s a long complicated story that goes like this “I felt like taking my shoes off. So I did. The End.”

LAURA YOU ARE SO PROFOUND.

I took one of the best pictures of JK ever in the history of the universe and here it is. I think he looks like a cartoon. If Jack Black were a cartoon.

In other news, it is almost MY birthday. I think I am decidedly over the typical New York City birthday celebration which usually involves the birthday person e-mailing everyone she’s ever met and being all COME TO A BAR TONIGHT! MAH BIRFDAY! BE MAH FRIEND!

Me thinks…I am too old for that. (IT’S TRUE. THIS WILL BE MY LAST YEAR IN THE MID-TWENTIES AGE BRACKET! OH HELL!)

I think maybe a few of my besties and I will go for brunch and then…well. That’s it, I think. We’ll just…get some brunch. And then maybe if it’s warm out (PLEASE BE WARM OUT!), I can walk around the park/neighborhood of my choosing. And perhaps get a cupcake. Or an iced coffee. And hold hands with Alayna while we skip through the city.

Because people, what I have realized is that I prefer spending quality time with the people close to me doing BANAL SHIT that makes me happy MUCH BETTER than I like doing shots at a bar with people I see once a year.

Oh. With the exception of the year 2012 of course.

See? That year I am turning 29 on the 29th. IT WILL BE MY GOLDEN BIRTHDAY. So, please, all of you, save the date. Because, it’s going to be totally insane.

THAT BEING SAID. Until that time, I would like to have mellow, meaningful birthdays with some guacamole and some cupcakes and the people who make me laugh.

The other night, my roommate was all YOU ARE TURNING 26! HOW DID WE GET SO OLD!? And then he proceeded to lock himself in the bathroom and dye his hair because HE WAS GOING GRAY. SRSLY.

I thought that as I got older, I would be one of those people who would seriously freak out. One of those people who would take stock of where they were and think about where they THOUGHT they’d be and have a total meltdown. BUT! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PREGNANT ALREADY! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And let’s be honest, I have these moments sporadically but…they never stay very long and they don’t cause me all that much distress. At least, not as much as they used to.

So, surprise. I love getting older. With every year that passes, I feel my feet dig into the earth a little deeper, my heart open wider, my compassion and understanding expanding. I am learning so much and growing so much and yes, sometimes I feel behind. I feel that everyone is getting somewhere and I’m not. The difference is that the older I get, the more I realize that that is a fallacy. And that the only thing that matters is where I am and not where you are.

And where I am right now folks?

Is falling asleep at my desk.

SO, I’ll be back soon with something better. For now, I am going to go make some tea. And blink at my e-mail Inbox. And think about how my life just keeps getting better and better.