Why I Need To Have A Kid, Like, Yesterday
Scene: Getting the twins out of the bathtub one at a time. Owen is scooped up, toweled off and told to go to his room to get into his pajamas. I then turn to River, lean down and pick him up out of the tub, simultaneously wrapping a bright blue elephant towel around him.
River: (teeth chattering) LAURA I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME CLOSE.
Laura: I know! You’re cold! I’ll wrap you up tight but I need to dry you off first.
*I begin to towel off his hair*
River: WAIT.
Laura: Yes?
River: DO NOT DRY MY PENIS.
Laura: Um. Okay. Is it sensitive or something? I promise I won’t touch it.
River: It just…
Laura: ??
River: Um. Well. It feels just a little rubbery.
WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?
I then fell over on the bathroom floor and laughed so hard that I died. A sad, sad story, I know but it had to be told.
ayyyy
hahahahahajajahahaha
xD
I felt the need to post. As a guy, like River, I have a penis, unfortunately, probably a little too much like River than I care to say but, in his defense, he just got out of the bath and it might’ve been cold, GIVE THE GUY A BREAK!!! I’m off to sit on the edge of my bed and cry
Boys and girls, now REALLY! TMI!
Best story ever!
I loved your reaction, “I won’t touch it!” Kids are priceless.
Dan – I WAS NOT COMMENTING ON HIS MEMBER. I was simply laughing at the terminology. Also I think it was the way he phrased it…with a pause and a “Well…it just…” It was hilarious. Don’t cry, there there.
OH COME ON MOM. IT IS HILARIOUS.
Thank you JK.
Andrew – Yeah. I mean. I normally do not dry…that area. I don’t go anywhere near it! But I wanted to make sure he knew that, especially since he pointed it out. HA HA! Genius.