For Christmas, the twins’ mother bought them a game entitled “Nature Bingo” which is, really, self-explanatory. But I’m going to explain it anyway because I’m sure that while many of you are familiar with the game BINGO, not everyone is familiar with the NATURE version. Here’s how it goes:

1. Everyone picks out a bingo card.

RIVER: I NEED THE CARD WITH THE FISH.

ME: No problem.

RIVER: FISH ARE MY FRIENDS.

2. Owen takes charge of the chip pile. They are green. Everyone places one green chip in the middle of their bingo card on a space entitled FREE with a sun shining brightly on it because, as River explained to me, “THERE IS NO CARD FOR FREE. EVERYONE GETS FREE.”

Indeed.

3. I shuffle up the cards and put them into a pile. Owen is in charge of picking one card at a time from the stack and shouting out the name on the card. The thing is, nine times out of ten, Owen cannot read the word on the card because, people? This game is SO RIDICULOUS that there is a DEFINITION on the back of the cards to go along with the pictures.

For example:

OWEN: (picking a card from the deck) WHO HAS…what is this?

ME: Uh, (reading the card), Ornithology!

OWEN: RIGHT! ORNITHOLOGY.

ME: (reading the back of the card) Ornithology is the study of birds, my friends. See the birds?

RIVER: I SEE THE BIRDS. WHERE IS THE FISH CARD? I WANT THE FISH.

And this is how the game would go. The back and forth of me reading the card and explaining the definition happened nearly every single time, particularly when the game was relatively new and the twins had no idea what the hell an invertebrate was. On Saturday, we whipped out Nature Bingo for the first time in a few weeks. I quickly realized the twins had gotten some major play time in and needed me a whole lot less. My work was PAYING OFF.

OWEN: (picking a card from the deck) WHO HAS…BOTANY?!

RIVER: AW! I do not have botany! BUT I DO HAVE MOLLUSKS!!!

And then later…

RIVER: I would like Owen to pick metamorphosis. That is when a caterpillar becomes a BUTTERFLY.

ME: It certainly is.

They still got hung up on quite a few phrases and I did my best to explain it, taking my role as caregiver and science teacher very seriously.

ME: Boys, carnivores are animals that only eat meat! See the lion? He eats meat!

RIVER: ALSO HE LIVES IN AFRICA.

ME: Correct.

I was still surprised at some of the phrases they retained and the excitement with which they demonstrated understanding of some intense biological terms. Like, when Owen drew the card with a mushroom on it and they simultaneously screamed out FUNGI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was also impressed when Owen turned to me and solemnly said, “Laura. I will have a bingo when I get spores.”

I assured him that was correct and that also? I hadn’t heard the word “spores” since 9th grade biology class with Mr. O’Hara who, incidentally, had a very defined butt chin.

After a few rounds, the boys were getting more and more comfortable with the terminology and learning lots of really great things about Nature Bingo and life in general.

RIVER: “EXTINCT SPECIES” IS VERY SERIOUS.

ME: You said it.

OWEN: ENDANGERED SPECIES TOO.

ME: Yes, I hope Obama helps us protect those endangered animals.

RIVER: Obama is president of the United States.

ME: Yes! He will be very soon.

OWEN: NOT JOHN MCCAIN.

ME: Right. Not John McCain. I think it’s great that mommy took you with her to vote and you know all about it!

OWEN: WE VOTED FOR OBAMA.

RIVER: NOT JOHN MCCAIN.

ME: Right…we’ve established that.

RIVER: JOHN MCCAIN IS OLD.

ME: Right! Back to the game! Who has…AMPHIBIANS?

I hope that we continue to progress in the wonderful world of Nature Bingo. The boys have showed remarkable progress and I only hope that someday soon they are able to articulate the difference between carnivore and herbivore. I pray that they will be able to memorize some more of the harder terms, my personal favorite being a rather lengthy and difficult one, one that would just sound so precious coming out of their little four year-old mouths. And so, I cling to the hope that one day in the future, Owen will draw a card from the deck and with his brother, simultaneously, their voices full of hope and joy, they will together shout out “CAMOUFLAGE AND MIMICRY!”

Then, my friends, and only then, will my work be done.