New Year’s Resolutions I’ve Written So Far:

1. Stop cursing
2. No more plastic water bottles
3. No more popping my pimples
4. No more white flour
5. Put more money into savings each week
6. Keep a gratitude journal

So far I’m doing great with all of these things except the fucking white flour and the fucking cursing. Everything else = awesome.

1. My cursing has spun out of control. I’m not really sure why. I’m also not really sure why I care. My mom always told me that the Holy Spirit drifts away from you when your language and thoughts are vulgar or impure. She also says that it’s indicative of a lot of deep-rooted anger.

I don’t know what the FUCK she’s talking about.

I LOVE YOU MOM.

In all seriousness, it’s something I can do without and I’d like to think I’m a person who can think of better words to use than “asshat”.

2. James bought me a Sigg water bottle for Christmas. This eliminates the need for plastic water bottles and so far, in 2009, I have not purchased a SINGLE ONE. Go me. The End.

3. Popping pimples…sigh. I love popping my pimples. I love popping YOUR pimples. I swear I would if you let me. PLEASE? Notice that my resolution is to stop popping mine and not yours. SEE?

I get this from my mother. I’m not proud of it. I realize that there are going to be pimples breaking out of my pores, tempting me to do it, just squeeze! Just a little bit! And people, I JUST MAY HAVE TO DO IT. But really, I need to stop. I press my face a zillion times a day, scouring it for the slightest hint of a blemish and I guarantee you that in the process of touching my face with my OILY FINGERS all day, I am actually giving myself MORE PIMPLES than necessary.

Also, there is the tiny issue of scarring. And the fact that now that I am an old lady, I am starting to see these scars and they are not going away and OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL SKINNNNNN?

Also, I am also seeing the beginnings of wrinkles. Pass me the botox. Thank you.

So, yeah. No picking. No popping. Unless it’s yours. Come here, there’s a nice one right there on your forehead…

4. White Flour

This one is HARD. I don’t particularly care for starchy things–potatoes, pizza, breads, etc. But I am a pasta WHORE. And I’ll buy brown rice pasta or whole wheat and eat it a few times and then realize “OH I FORGOT. I HATE THIS.” and banish it to the back of my cabinet. I then go back to the store, load up on the Barilla (Gemelli! Mezzo Rigatoni! Thick Spaghetti!) and call it a night.

Too much pasta. Too many carbs. Must cut it down. I don’t think I can eliminate white flour completely but I’d like to reduce. What is an appropriate goal here? Pasta twice a week instead of eighteen? You tell me. And I shall comply.

5. More money into savings = self-explanatory. I already logged in today and upped the ante which is pretty damn hilarious considering my pay cut. THANK YOU, ECONOMY.

6. Every night, before I go to sleep, I write down three things I’m grateful for. Things in the journal so far include:

a. eating leftover Thai food for lunch the next day
b. belting showtunes in my car
c. new green flannel sheets
d. Orbitz raspberry mint gum
e. Christmas lights still up after Christmas

Gratitude is something that I don’t pay enough attention to, don’t stop and think about enough. When I get into a really negative mood, gratitude is an instant mood lifter. It takes the focus away from myself and allows me to remember all that I have. It instantly makes any of my melodrama smaller and less important.

There you go. In unrelated news, I got new headshots taken yesterday. I think they came out SMASHING, don’t you?

Good. Me too.