Blog posts I started this morning include:

“I was supposed to get up at 6:30 to jog. I went back to sleep instead.”

“I don’t think I washed all the shampoo out of my hair.”

“I can’t stop watching the Legally Blonde reality show episodes on MTV.com”

Etc. Etc.

I have been so tired lately and unable to catch up on sleep and if you know me at all, you know that totally sucks.

My roommate leaves this morning for at least six months. He’s going out on the road with the first national tour of Legally Blonde. (This is why I’m now watching the reality show. He got me watching the first episode and you know, since it’s reality TV, I had to watch every single subsequent episode because OH NOW I CAN’T STOP WONDERING WHAT HAPPENS even though I know exactly what happens since the winners were announced, uh, months ago. But hey, that’s how we do it over here with basic cable.) Two girls from the show are going out on the road with him and I love hearing about them firsthand and then comparing it to the way they were portrayed on the show. LOVE IT. AMAZING.

I was going to write a little bit about how I really will miss my roommate, how he is a fantastic dude, how fun it’s been renovating our apartment with him, how hilarious he is when he’s had too much to drink, etc. etc. But then two things happened. The first is that last night I came home from dinner with Alayna to find our air conditioning on, set to 70 degrees which made absolutely NO SENSE TO ME since the AC has been off for almost a month now and the temperature outside had dropped to about 70 anyway. THANK YOU FOR RUNNING MY ELECTRIC BILL UP FOR NO GOOD REASON.

The second thing is that I went into the refrigerator this morning to grab a glass of water and our Brita water pitcher is completely empty. My roommate is NOTORIOUS for this. He pours himself a huge glass of water, doesn’t refill the pitcher and puts it back, EMPTY, in the fridge. What could possibly possess someone to do that? Like, SERIOUSLY???? IT DOES NOT FILL UP BY ITSELF.

So. Ahem. Uh. I’m thinking with the AC and the Brita, maybe we do need some space. So, I wish him tons of luck and can’t wait to head out to see him on the road.

It’s always kind of bittersweet when he leaves because I’m reminded that he is continually booking work, good work, and I am still here, auditioning my face off and getting nowhere. I’m at a low right now as far as the career thing goes. I woke up this morning with the intention of going to a chorus call and I just couldn’t. I just lay in bed, paralyzed, thinking, “Oh my God, that is the last thing I want to do right now.”

I will beat myself up for not going the rest of the day. Without decent representation, the burden is squarely on my shoulders to get up every morning and go to open calls. It’s the only way for me to be seen for most projects and if I don’t go, I’m not seen and therefore, can’t be cast. But my God is it hard. To say that those calls are “emotionally and physically draining” is the biggest understatement of the year.

But that is really all I need to say about that. I have some classes coming up this week and next that will hopefully give me some insight into why I’m not getting roles. I really do believe that I am a terrible auditioner so, uh, there is that. But maybe I can learn some tools to help with that.

I am going to go rinse my head in the sink ‘cuz my scalp is feeling kind of sudsy. And then I am going to eat a bowl of pumpkin raisin crunch. Then perhaps, I will hug my roommate goodbye and wish him on his way and wonder if he knows how lucky he is.