If any of you were wondering how I’ve been doing since this post, I’m gonna tell you. Because assessments have been made and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to share them with the internets. In truth? I am 100% better. It was not a gradual “coming out of a funk” feeling, it was almost as if I woke up one day and I was better. I couldn’t help but notice, after doing some sleuthing on the internet, that my severe numbness and helpless feelings coincided with my menstrual cycle. Once again, I venture into TMI territory but whatever, we’re all grown ups here. Okay, fine, you are.

I had therapy on Friday and after a long, lovely discussion, there has been a somewhat strong conclusion drawn. Apparently, two years ago, when my gynecologist told me that I was just “very, very sensitive to hormones”, she was not lying. I stole the following information from some health websites because I am too lazy to sum it up on my own. I highlighted the symptoms I experienced during this cycle in BOLD. Reflecting on past cycles, I have suffered from these and others on the list.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), afflicting 5% of all women. is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome. It is a mood disorder associated with the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle.

PMDD is similar to PMS, but differs from it in severity. Treatment is recommended because PMDD interferes with the sufferer’s ability to function in her environment. The cardinal symptom–surfacing between ovulation and menstruation, and disappearing within a few days after the onset of the bleeding–is irritability. Anxiety, anger, and depression may also occur. The main symptoms, which can be disabling, include:

• feelings of sadness or despair, or possibly suicidal thoughts
• feelings of tension or anxiety
• panic attacks
• mood swings, crying
• lasting irritability or anger that affects other people
• disinterest in daily activities and relationships
• trouble thinking or focusing
• tiredness or low energy
• food cravings or binge eating
• having trouble sleeping
• feeling out of control
• physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain

Five or more of these symptoms may indicate PMDD. Symptoms occur during the week before the menstrual cycle and go away when the bleeding starts.

Hooray, hooray for hormones! We have decided to monitor my next cycle and see how severe it gets. There are a few alternatives to try in the event that I keep experiencing this every month. Obviously, I am hoping this is not the case because, wow, I NEVER WANT TO FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN, EVER. That deep depression and constant apathy wrecked my life for a few weeks and made my family and friends go out of their minds. So, I will be monitoring my mental health very soon and hoping for the best, especially since I am due to ovulate any day now.

On a related note, does anyone want to have a baby with me because dudes, I’m going to be so fertile in about twenty four hours.

No?

Really?

Oh. Ha. Yeah! No, I mean. Yeah. I was kidding too! Totally! Did you think I was serious? HA! I WASN’T!

Wait. Are you sure?

Okay.

And so, kids, I am BACK IN ACTION and ready to have a fantastic New Year. I’d like to talk about my resolutions and all but I’ll save that for another post. A different post. A better post. Where I am not talking about my uterus.

In other news, if you are a boy and I dumped you out of nowhere one day, at any point over the past few years, I’d like to say that I was probably PMS-ing and didn’t know what I was doing and we should totally try it again!

But you know? It was probably not the PMS. It was probably the fact that you repeatedly showed up drunk on our dates.

Love,
Laura & Her Estrogen