After going out to dinner tonight and having some drinks and compounded by the fact that I saw a woman breast pumping in the bathroom at work today, I decided against having a child at this point in my life.
Dude. Her breast. Squeezed into a pump that made a really scary wheezing sound. Lactating in the work bathroom. For all to see.
Do you know that milk comes out of a breast? Like, ACTUAL MILK!??? THEY ARE NOT LYING ABOUT THAT!
I am all for that. POWER TO YOU WOMAN!
But just…seeing it up close. (NOT THAT I WAS STARING…) It just…brought it all home to me.
No, thank you. At this moment. Just…no thank you.
Pass the champagne.
In fact, tonight, it was champagne mixed with pomegranate liqueur and a sugar cube at the bottom of my glass that kept dissolving and fizzing as I sipped it.
NEW YORK CITY: I LOVE YOU FOR THAT FANCY DRINKY DRINK.
I EVEN LOVE YOU FOR CHARGING ME $12 FOR EACH OF THEM.
I LOVE YOU TO DAN FOR BUYING ME TWO OF THEM.
I love that I came home tonight and put on my brand new Totally 80′s playlist on my iPod. While I was dancing to the inimitable “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey in our living room, my roommate showed me the artwork he performed on my lonely pomegranate sitting in the fruit basket.
I LOVE YOU ROOMMATE.
I LOVE YOU CHAMPAGNE IN MY FEELING BETTER TUMMY.
And Journey? Oh, you. I have a super big crush on you.