On Wednesday, my dad’s middle school threw him a retirement party at a local restaurant. Due to work scheduling, I wasn’t able to make it. A whole slew of teachers and family and friends ended up going and dad gave a small speech. I called him the next day to see how it went.

Dad: Hello?

Laura: Hey dad, it’s me.

Dad: LAWRA.

Laura: Heyyyy. How did the party go!?

Dad: IT WAS SO GREAT. There were a lotta people there. Do you know like 40 people paid 40 bucks to come party with me!?

Laura: WOW!! That school loves their math teacher!!

Dad: I KNOW!

Laura: How was everything?

Dad: Good! You know, we all were there and then I gave my speech and did my tricks and that type-a thing.

*pause*

Laura: You did…your tricks?

Dad: Yeah! I thought I’d do two magic tricks after my speech!

Laura: Ohhhhhh. Um…

Dad: I did the disappearing coke bottle trick and the one with all the rainbow scarves.

Laura: THOSE ARE YOUR BEST TWO TRICKS!

Dad: I KNOW. Plus, everyone got a balloon animal!

Laura: What kind?

Dad: Mostly I made those teddy bear balloons sitting in a heart. I made FIFTY of dem!

Laura: HOLY COW. Those are AWESOME.

Dad: I KNOW.

Laura: I’m so glad it went well! I’m so sorry it couldn’t be there!

Dad: I know. I think it’s going down in history as one of the school’s best retirement parties ever.

Laura: It has to be. I mean, what other teacher got up and did magic tricks and sent everyone home with a teddy bear balloon at their retirement party!? Who else DOES THAT?

Dad: Exactly. No one. Just me.

Indeed.