Follow Up Session
Since my last post about therapy went over so well, I thought all y’all might like a snippet from this week’s session. I hope my insanity provides you with more amusement and endearing sighs of, “Oh Laura, she is The Crazy and that is so cute.”
Fourth (Fifth?) Session
Weather: 108 degrees with humidity
Equipment: Nectarine, Cashews, Open Heart
Dr. X: Well, maybe that means just being more comfortable as your OWN person.
Laura: Well, that’s the thing. I’m NOT comfortable as my own person. I’m either comparing myself to others or asking other people eight times before I do something. I don’t trust myself.
Dr. X: I think you trust yourself.
Laura: Thank you.
Dr. X: I don’t think you feel COMFORTABLE trusting yourself.
Laura: Right. So. Can you fix that?
Dr. X: Well. No. That’s something you have to do.
Laura: Isn’t there some sort of prescription you can write out?
Dr. X: Erm. I’m a psychologist, I can’t really do that anyway.
Laura: Are you saying you would if you COULD?
Dr. X: Let’s get back to the point.
Laura: Which is that I am not quite secure in myself. I guess I feel like I have to be a certain way and I’m not comfortable embracing the way that I am, even if it’s different from what I think it’s “supposed to be” and might be met with disapproval.
Dr. X: From who.
Laura: MY PARENTS!
*dramatically clutches heart with tissues*
Dr. X: Right.
Laura: God, this is so textbook psychology. You’re loving it, aren’t you?
Dr. X: Um.
Laura: Okay, so how do I embrace myself, even if that self is different from the way I think my parents want me to be?
Dr. X: You need to commit. You need to be open about who you are, having the attitude “This is me, if you don’t like it, too bad.”
Laura: I always admired people with that attitude.
Dr. X: That’s nice.
Laura: Okay so, I just need to be open about the person that I am and care less about their approval, even though that worries me. Just…lay it out, here I am. This is me.
Dr. X: Right, to a point that is.
Laura: Right. I’m not going to be like, HEY MOM! I DID DRUGS!!!
*awkward silence*
Dr. X: Have you ever done drugs?
Laura: No. Well. I’ve had some wine.
Dr. X: You’ve never wanted to smoke a joint?
Laura: I guess I felt too afraid.
Dr. X: I’m going to ask you that again. Have you ever WANTED to smoke a joint?
Laura: I don’t know!! I guess I was curious! But too scared to try it!
Dr. X: Was it fear?
Laura: YES! FEAR! OH GOD! THE FEAR!
Dr. X: Of going to hell?
Laura: Well. I don’t think I was THAT extremely Christian. I was also afraid of what would be IN the drugs. So, it’s a little bit fearing the wrath of a Pot-hating God and a big part, afraid of the pot being laced with something.
Dr. X: I see.
Laura: Well. I mean, pot isn’t usually LACED with dangerous substances, right?
Dr. X: No.
Laura: I mean, I don’t know about any of this stuff so I’m not sure that is a valid fear anymore.
Dr. X: Right.
Laura: I guess I should be afraid if I’m, like, for example, dropping E.
Dr. X: Dropping E?
Laura: I don’t know. Um. Isn’t that what they say? On the streets?
Dr. X: We’re…just about out of time.
Laura: I figured. For the record, I don’t think I’m going to be dropping pot or rolling E or smoking crack anytime soon.
Dr. X: I think that’s okay.
Laura: Because God hates drug users.
Dr. X: *confused look*
Laura: Haha! I’m kidding! I made a joke! BYE!
Dr. X: Be well, Laura.
Laura: *sigh* I shall try. But first, I need to use the bathroom.
Is your therapist trying to convince you that smoking pot is safe and a good idea? Not sure thats his job…unless he is also a drug dealer in which case that would be his job. I would also like to say don’t do drugs Laura. You have a bright future ahead of you. Remember what you learned in DARE and just say no! Did you even have DARE?
We totally had DARE in the North. Also, from this conversation, it totally sounds like my therapist is pushing drugs on me…which, HMMMM!?
If he has some, let’s share…NOT!
So, let’s cut to the chase, dear Laura. What about you are you so worried about that your parents will disown you? They are both intelligent, caring, compassionate people (albeit, perhaps a bit nutty), so unless you admit that you have some murdurous tendencies, I don’t think they’ll bat an eye. You need to give yourself a break
I would totally give myself a break if it wasn’t for the fact that routinely during my childhood, my mother threatened me with a meat cleaver.
That’s the only thing that makes me a LITTLE bit nervous.