Overheard In My Apartment
Posted on January 22nd, 2007 in Daily Musings
Roommate #1: It was just awful because as I sobered up, I realized that he was just NOT the guy for me.
Roommate #2: He couldn’t have been that bad.
Roommate #1: Seriously? YES HE WAS! He admitted to me that his friends call him “Disco.”
Roommate #2: Wha??
Roommate #1: That’s his nickname, Disko. And oh yes, that’s with a “K”.
You LOVE that story. Ha! A slippery customer indeed.
um, btw YOU’RE FAMOUS!
“Still, it was a great experience.”
PLAGIARISM!
A) I hope you don’t mind if I read your blog…it’s hysterical.
B) I’m almost positive I know this Disko with a K character…how many Diskoes with a K could there be?
oh also, this post reminds me of a guy I had the pleasure of serving at a LeadDog event… his name was $leeze. He had to spell it for me: “Dollar sign, L, E, E, Z, E.”
although completely unrelated to this post, i will now discuss the difference between the ultimate three degrees of comedy. ahem.
comedy gold: monkeys and pirates.
i guarantee that if you tell a joke about, or imitate, a monkey or a pirate, you will illicit a laugh. i guarantee it. this certainty is what makes monkeys and pirates comedy gold.
comedy platinum: a monkey dressed as a pirate.
i mean c’mon. just the thought of this brings at least a smile to your face, if not an audible laugh. a chuckle, perhaps? regardless, i have determined that monkeys, especially those dressed in people clothes, are comedy genius for the following reason: monkeys are a few genes away from being people, and they most resemble babies. everyone loves babies, thus everyone loves monkeys. add a ton of hair, a tail, and a teeny diaper, THEN throw in an eyepatch, a hook-hand, and, why not, a peg leg, you have instant hilarity. thusly, comedy platinum.
comedy titanium: i like to call this category “free-ballin’”, meaning that it can be used at the discretion of the user.
let me give you a perfect example:
tom peeing in his pants at the age of 17, then trying to pass it off as “the sink broke. all over the front of my pants where i would logically pee on myself.” when relating this story, it has become so embellished that it often brings tears to our eyes, even though we lived it and have been telling it for years. comedy titanium.
a joke in this category must stand the test of time, which is why it should rarely be used in immediate situations. for example, my boob leaking as i was getting dressed, spraying milk literally across the room (i’m talking, like, three feet), was perhaps comedy titanium when immediately retold (certainly not at the time), but a year-and-a-half later it has lost some of its oomph, probably because it happened several times and ruined several pieces of clothing.
now within the comedy gold/platinum categories, other humorous occurrences are permitted apart from simply monkeys or pirates, but the history of the comedic scale should never be forgotten. for when we lose either the monkeys, pirates, or pirate-monkeys, we shall lose comedy entirely.
i hope this explanation has cleared up any confusion. you should do what i do, keep a laminated copy of the comedic scale handy in your wallet or purse for emergency situations.
important note: anyone using the comedy gold, platinum, and ESPECIALLY titanium labels should expect pop quizzes regarding the scale’s history and roots. these are not phrases to be taken lightly and used all willy-nilly. yes, that’s right, willy-nilly.
as for this post, would i be so presumptuous as to suggest comedy gold?
For those of you who have NO idea what Regina is talking about, I left her a frantic voicemail yesterday asking her to define Comedy Gold, Platinum, and Titanium.
These are phrases that Regina invented (or maybe Regina and Tom invented?) and that I use freely, totally forgetting their original meaning. And now, on my blog, it is documented for all time.
You, my dear Regina, are comedy titanium.
Dear Regina,
If you weren’t already getting married to whats-his-name (John, schmon), I would wed you myself.
Love,
Ashley