I’m in Buffalo and there is threat of a blizzard/sleet/snow/rain/ice storm and so I called to cancel my catering gig tomorrow night. I’m thinking I might stay in Buffalo forever and ever and never return home. I’m watching my fabulous cousin perform in The Santaland Diaries for which he is getting RAVE REVIEWS. Read about his brilliance here.

Tom and I have been doing very important things in Buffalo like eating at Cafe Aroma and popping our pimples side by side in the bathroom. This is love people, love. I’ve been restless lately, sad and lonely and anxious and Tom is a source of comfort that I feel so grateful for. Watching him perform last night I felt inspired and strengthened. At least with that aspect of my life, I know I need to keep trying, keep plugging away, keep auditioning. I loooooooooooooooove him.

OH. Speaking of auditions. I showed up Monday morning for an audition and the place was packed. The unofficial lists were up on the wall and though I had a few pens in my bag, they were under all my crap so I asked the girl ahead of me if I could borrow hers.

“UM. Well it’s not MY pen. It’s HIS,” she pointed to a man sitting down in the corner with a leather jacket on.

“Excuse me,” I say to the man, “May I borrow your pen really quick?”

He turns.

“You know…you really need to start bringing your own pen to auditions.”

“Um. Sorry. I have a pen in my bag, just forget it.”

“Well FINE I mean use it but God GET WITH IT.”

It’s? a pen. You? are the most terrible person I’ve ever met.

Seriously you have never met vile people until you show up at an open call in New York City. The End. Love, Laura. Audition went okay. Nothing great. I’m starting to lose my focus in the audition room. I find my concentration shifting and it’s really scary. Gotta get back on track…holy COW Tom’s ghetto roommate is blasting rap and singing along. HE IS SO BRILLIANT. His name is Freddy. He is also smoking an exhorbitant amount of weed.

Tom’s parents arrive tonight to see the show and I really hope the weather holds until their plane lands. I drove here and it took the EXACT mapquested time of six hours and forty minutes. I was going the LEGAL SPEED LIMIT THE ENTIRE TIME. It’s amazing how good I’m getting at not breaking the law. I spotted a few cops during my trip and automatically slammed on the brakes to slow down out of habit, not realizing that I actually was not going 90 miles per hour. No speeding tickets for me! Tickets for lots of SUV’s and one particularly weaving speed demon Toyota Camry. BUT NOT ME! I ruuuuuuuuuule!

Tom and I got Starbucks in Williamsville and the snow is covering everything and I feel so nostalgic. I seriously am so in love with this little town. (And by in love I mean that I alternately hate it with a fiery passion of hell because it is blizzarding AHHHHHHHHHHHH!) But there are lots of good times here and I need to stop using blogger so I can post an amazingly beautiful PHOTO ESSAY of my time in Buffalo. Daaaamn blogger and your useless photo mechanics.

ALSO, I was denied entrance to the gym to work out this morning because now they swipe your UB card instead of just LOOK AT IT? and obviously my card isn’t active anymore. She wouldn’t let me in! I’m like GOD just 20 minutes on the elliptical! THIS IS MY ALMA MATER! (I didn’t really say alma mater but how funny is that!!?!? How old am I?!) So I went around the building and secretly snuck up to the jogging track and got a workout in that way. So funny how I travel back in time and keep expecting to run into Steve Fecarotta or a few dance majors or just someone I know, anyone. But no. Nothing. Just me.

I luckily ran into Maria and got a quick inspirational talk fix. She is a lovely lovely woman. Other than that, I’ve been hanging with Tom and his roommates. JB came over to talk and we were all up til at least 3 am. Whenever I come to Buffalo, I really really miss Keith. He is all over this city and I want to get some wonton soup from Jasmine’s and mail it to him because seriously? He would LOVE THAT. However, the postal workers? Probably wouldn’t.

So yeah. I really had such a blast living here. I know it’s Buffalo and it’s dumb and snowy and cold but this was just my entire life for so so long. It’s realllllllly nice to be back. I just always need more time. I need a Higher Grounds fix and long chats with Lindsay and walks on the bike path with Troy and on and on and on it goes. You can never really go back though, can you? Just forward.

And so I’m off to go downtown to watch my darling little cousin in an elf costume. People are responding so well to this production and I jumped to my feet at its conclusion last night. He continues to amaze me and inspire me. I am always filled to the brim with pride whenever I see him on a stage. He gives me the reassurance I need to say that one day, I can do that too. His comic timing, his facial expressions, the ease in his presentation, the relaxed state of his body. He is, at the ripe age of 21, so far ahead of his time, so so beyond talented.

Last night, out to eat at a restaurant, we were dissolved into hysterical laughter over and over and over again. Catching up and making new jokes and reminiscing, we have a bond that I know will never ever be replaced. Joking with the waiter, addressing a serious topic, his brown eyes sparkling, a mischievous smile at his lips, Tom continues to amaze me, impress me, and make me laugh every second of the day, especially when all I want to do lately is cry and cry. I am, really, just awed by every aspect of his character.

Especially when he pays for dinner. YUM.

Peace.